His eyes…God his eyes were blood-shot and red-rimmed and…haunted.

‘Oh Heero…’ I whispered. ‘Oh dear God…I’m so sorry.’

I rose and we staggered toward each other, I jerked my arm out of the damn sling and pulled him tight into my arms as he came to me.

‘Duo…’ he whispered against my shoulder, ‘Is that…? What is…?’ He struggled with the words, seeming strangled with them. ‘Talk to me. Please talk to me,’ he finally begged, giving up on the questions all together.

‘It’s old, Heero…’ I soothed, reaching to thread my good hand through his hair, being very careful with my numb fingers. ‘From…right after the war. I should have gotten rid of it years ago instead of just locking it away.’

He pushed away from me and caught my hand, peeling the glove off and tossing it aside, stroking his fingers over my scars. ‘We didn’t turn away from you…Didn’t abandon you…we cared for you…’ His voice was anguished and confused.

‘It isn’t always reality that comes out when I paint,’ I told him sadly, catching his fingers to make him stop that touch that I could only half feel. ‘Sometimes it’s just…fears…things I was confused about. Things I couldn’t understand.’

He brought my hand to his lips and murmured against the palm, ‘We hurt for you…we all hurt for you.’

‘I know that, love,’ I reassured him. ‘It’s old…it doesn’t mean anything…just let it go.’

He closed his eyes and pressed his cheek into my hand. ‘Don’t lie to me,’ he breathed.

‘Heero…’ I frowned but he cut me off.

‘It means…a very great deal. Don’t try to tell me it doesn’t.’ His eyes were open again and boring into mine. I looked away.

‘I don’t half know what it means sometimes,’ I blurted before I realized it was coming out of my mouth.

He caught my face in his hands and forced me to meet his eyes. ‘Duo…no more hiding. I need you to talk to me. I need you to trust me…to let me be here for you.’

It was getting to be too much; the frantic race to save Hayden and Toria, dealing with Relena’s stupid little game of ‘let’s pretend’, fighting with my damned anxiety attacks, feeling like my own body was betraying me, opening up that room, coming to grips with the idea of trying to follow through with Toria’s hair-brained scheme…and Heero…trying not to worry Heero…trying to bear up under his damn constant scrutiny. My edges were fraying.

‘I’m sorry Heero,’ I sighed, ‘I know I’m not handling this very well…I’m just so damn tired…’

Worry clouded those dark blue eyes then and he let go of my face to stroke gentle fingers over my cheek before catching me by the shoulders. ‘Duo love, you need to get some rest. It’s late. Everyone else has gone to bed and we need to get you…’

‘Heero…’ I gasped, ‘please…I can’t go in there. Don’t ask me to go in there.’

‘Hush.’ He sighed and held my arms tight as though he were afraid I might pull away. Though where the hell he thought I might run is beyond me. ‘I’ve taken care of it…I pulled the light panel and jumpered it out. The lights can’t come on in that room. Understand me? You can’t see what’s on the walls in there now…I swear to you.’

I blinked at him and felt my knees turning to water from…God, I’m not sure what; emotional overload?

‘I…I’ll sleep in here,’ I panted out and wondered when I had gotten so panicked.

He gently pulled me against him. ‘I’ll be with you. You can’t sleep in here; you need some real rest. I brought the med-kit and we can use the sedatives if we have to. It’ll be all right…’

I closed my eyes and stopped fighting it; let him lead me out of the cockpit and down the corridor. I let him lead me blind; I couldn’t open my eyes. He kept me wrapped close and moved us forward with soothing, reassuring words. I tried to make myself believe that we were going to my own cabin…the comfort of my own piece of space. He paused at the door and I was relieved to hear him key in the password to unlock it; he had taken me seriously when I told him that no one else was to go in this room.

Once inside, I heard him lock it behind us and felt a strange shiver run up my spine. I wanted out of there very damn badly. He steered me toward the bed and I let him undress me, wanting to prolong the touch of his hands. He stripped me down to my shorts and then gently prodded, ‘Come on love, open your eyes. You need to prove to yourself that it’s all right.’

I truly felt like a fucking idiot; all bloody weak-kneed and trembling over a couple of damn, stupid paintings. I might have dealt with it better a week before or maybe even a week after but the last few days had seemed to pile one stone after another on my shoulders. This room had felt like just one stinking stone too many.

I slit my eyes open enough to see that the room was, as promised, pretty damn dark. There was a faint glow from the control panel over the bed and from the panel by the door. Enough light to see dark shapes and silhouettes but not enough to grant much color to anything, making the walls relatively obscure.

‘Heero…I’m so sorry,’ I told him, completely ready to die of embarrassment, ‘I don’t know why I can’t seem to catch my damn balance today.’

He snorted softly and stepped back to undress. ‘You may not know why…but I do.’ Stripped to his shorts and tank top, he hesitated. ‘Which side of the bed do you want?’

I blinked up at him, not really able to see his face. I knew what I should do; I knew what duty demanded…I was the Captain of this ship; the pilot. I should be the one closest to the door. But…Heero was my second…wasn’t he? Couldn’t I, just for a few hours, let go and trust him to keep an eye on things?

I didn’t speak but edged to the back of the bed and made room for him. I saw understanding in the squaring of his shoulders just before he crawled in with me. There was some damn awkward squirming around while we tried to get my arm settled. I finally said the hell with it and just shoved it under the pillow above my head, needing to be facing him, needing to have his arms around me.

‘I’m here,’ he murmured, pulling me close. ‘I won’t leave you alone in this room.’

It was a relief to hear it…a relief not to have to ask for that promise. I settled my head against him and tried to ignore the thrumming pain in my arm. The nagging, itchy feel of those images all around me.

‘Duo,’ he kissed the top of my head gently. ‘Forget this room for a minute. You promised you would tell me what happened between you and the Brannigans. You seemed…almost afraid of Hayden this afternoon. What the hell happened?’

I sighed, remembering the incident with a pang, ‘Damn,’ I murmured, just wishing he would drop everything and forget about it, ‘Hayden and I have been friends since not long after the war,’ I told him. ‘We…almost went into business together. Probably would have if he hadn’t met Toria.’

His fingers traced tranquil patterns over my back.

‘Before dinner…Toria was teasing him…she…’ I swallowed the sudden strange lump in my throat and tried again, ‘she brought it rather pointedly to his attention that I…prefer men.’

‘He didn’t know?’ he asked me softly and it felt like a rebuke, it made me a little defensive.

‘It never fucking came up, ok?’ I grumbled. ‘At the time I wasn’t exactly looking to get my damn heart rip…’ I stopped and so did the movement of the hand on my back. I blinked into the darkness; sometimes I almost forgot that this Heero and that Heero were the same person. I really didn’t want to get into that right now.

‘It surprised him,’ I continued the story, ignoring the lapse as though it had never happened. ‘I could see this…almost horrified look on his face. You could watch him trying to reevaluate our whole damn friendship.’

It took a moment for his hand to resume stroking over my back. ‘I’m sorry,’ he murmured and I chose to take it for sympathy over the Hayden matter.

‘He seems to have come to grips with it,’ I said, ‘or Toria brought him to grips with it…she was flaming pissed.’

He chuckled lightly. ‘I think she could change the mind of a charging rhino if she decided to.’

I snorted and shifted slightly against him, trying to ease the strain on my arm.

‘You…’ he ventured after a moment’s silence, ‘do free style zero-g dance?’

I snickered at him. ‘So…I still have a few secrets?’

He tilted his head around and brushed his lips lightly across my forehead. ‘That was not something you talked about.’

I grinned rather broadly. ‘Good,’ I teased him, ‘it’s nice to know you aren’t completely fucking omniscient. Does it surprise you?’

He was quiet for a minute. ‘Yes and no,’ he said at length. ‘It wasn’t anything I ever would have guessed…but thinking back, you were always damned graceful in free-fall.’

I felt the blood rush to my face and snorted softly at myself; preening like a damn school-girl at the slightest bit of praise; pathetic.

‘We competed two years in a row and placed third and second. My half of the prize money was the seeds of my salvage business,’ I explained, ignoring my discomfort.

‘Duo love,’ he said after a minute and his voice sounded worried, ‘are you sure you’re up to trying something like that?’

I gusted a sigh. ‘I don’t know,’ I admitted. ‘It’s been so damn long.’ I twisted my head up and tried to look at him, seeing little more than the intense glitter of his eyes in the dim light. ‘I have to try…you know that; right?’

It was his turn to sigh and the hand on my back stilled and pulled me close for a second. ‘I know. But I don’t want you…’ he hesitated and his voice lost a little of the demanding edge it had held. ‘I’m worried that you’re going to hurt yourself. You’ve struggled so hard to get back to where you are…I don’t…’

I tilted my head up to kiss him. ‘I understand,’ I reassured him, ‘but I can’t just walk away when they need me…they lost everything. If I can help, I have to try.’

We lay in the dark for a little while, just holding each other and my mind drifted back over the events of the day. I chuckled lightly.

‘What?’ he murmured.

‘Do you realize that Hayden and Toria know exactly who Relena is?’

His laugh was sudden and genuine. ‘You’re kidding? You mean to tell me…?’

I snickered along with him. ‘Yep. The only one being fooled in this strange little game of hers is…Relena herself.’

He shook his head. ‘I should tell her, I suppose,’ he sighed after thinking about it for a second.

‘I’d let it go,’ I told him firmly, ‘I think I like Lena better than Relena. She’s not so damn uptight.’

He hesitated. ‘I won’t have her made the fool in this.’ I could hear the frown in his voice.

‘Look Heero,’ I said, ‘she started it. I talked to her about it when I asked her to go back to her cabin with me. She says this is the only way that people will act ‘natural’ around her. Nobody is trying to make her look stupid.’

I was completely proud of the fact that I didn’t finish the thought with she’s doing a good enough job of looking foolish on her own.

‘I suppose,’ he grumbled but let it go and there was another of those strange silences.

‘Toria is a little…blunt, isn’t she?’ Heero said suddenly.

I snickered. ‘You noticed?’

I could feel him smile slightly. ‘While I was moving our things…she came and wanted to know where you were.’

‘Argh,’ I grunted, that would mean that she would be all over my case the next time she saw me, wanting to know what was wrong. ‘What…what’d you tell her?’

He sighed rather heavily and I was kind of glad I hadn’t been around for that conversation. ‘I told her that you were resting.’ I could tell from his rueful tone of voice that she hadn’t let that go.

‘I take it you got some argument?’ I smiled against his shoulder.

‘You could say that,’ his voice fairly smirking. ‘She wanted to know just what in the hell I had done to you.’

‘What?’ I asked, confused.

‘She says that you aren’t acting normal at all…she wanted to know why you were dressed the way you are and why there hasn’t been any music playing.’

I could hear in his voice that he was looking for confirmation that she was right, that these were unusual actions for me. I sighed. ‘Heero…I’m usually alone. I do play my music all the time when I’m alone…but it’s common courtesy when you have guests to adjust things for their…comfort.’

‘The clothes?’ he prompted and I made a mental note to tell Toria Brannigan to mind her own damn business the next time I saw her.

‘Yeah, maybe I do dress differently under normal circumstances but I can hardly drift around in my damn underwear with Relena and Chezarina onboard,’ I growled.

‘So you do usually pilot in zero gravity?’ he pounced and I wondered just what in the hell all they had talked about.

‘That’s not my fault…I’m not supposed to be using that much low gravity for the next couple of months.’ I felt defensive and wasn’t even sure why; I hadn’t done anything wrong. Maybe it’s just because this all echoed the eye-opener I’d had earlier about not really being myself around Relena. It was like Heero and Toria had conspired to read my fucking mind somehow.

He didn’t say anything, only shifted away from me. I had a strange moment of thinking he was angry with me before I realized that he was reaching to queue my night music. It was isolated to the speakers in this cabin and turned down low. It was almost a shock how soothing it was.

‘Despite what you think,’ he murmured to me as he settled back beside me, ‘I can’t read your mind. You have to tell me what you want.’

Our eyes seemed to be adjusting a little to the near darkness and I could see him frowning at me slightly. ‘Duo…you can’t be comfortable…’

I heaved a sigh. ‘I know. I guess I’m going to have to sleep on the outside.’

He didn’t immediately move but seemed to be considering something. ‘Not necessarily,’ he said at length and got up, pulling the blankets free from their null gravity, Velcro fastenings, ‘We’re not in zero-g,’ he informed me with a smile, ‘there’s no saying that we need to fasten things down.’

I chuckled with him and we turned ourselves around so that our heads were at the wrong end of the bed. I could lie on my left side so that my arm was out flat on the bed and he could spoon in behind me while still being on the outside edge.

‘Better?’ he asked when we were settled again.

‘Hmmm,’ I agreed and squirmed until I was nestled as close in his arms as I could manage.

He stroked his fingers placidly over my hair and murmured, ‘You need to rest…go to sleep, love.’

I didn’t really want to. Lying here with him, talking with him had been…pleasant. I didn’t really want it to stop. I had felt…closer to him today than I think I ever had. It was odd; I’m not sure where it was coming from. We’d certainly argued off and on enough. Maybe it had started with that strange revelation of the morning, thinking about the fear that had been in his eyes when he had realized I’d been hurt in the mishap with the cargo bay door. Maybe it had been the way his hands had shaken so much while he had been stripping me out of that vacuum suit. I’m not sure…but I just really wasn’t ready to go to sleep yet. I was feeling better; more settled, but my head was still whirling with thoughts and half-formed ideas…emotions still raw edged.

‘Heero…?’ I whispered and was surprised at the tremulous sound of my own voice. He didn’t answer but pushed up on one elbow and turned my face to meet his eyes. He looked at me, long and hard and my heart was suddenly thrumming in my chest. He leaned in with excruciating slowness and brushed my lips with his, drawing back to look at me again. I tilted my head up, asking for another, deeper kiss and he gave it to me. His lips are almost surprisingly soft and so very warm. I closed my eyes and lost myself in that kiss…gave myself over to the electric feel of it.

His hand moved to cup my face and as our tongues met and danced a delicate ballet I became aware of that hand drifting down across my chest. His fingers traced a line of fire that left goose bumps in its wake down the center of my chest and across my quivering belly, stopping only when they tangled hesitantly on the waistband of my shorts.

I couldn’t speak, only arched my back in answer, helping him to pull the things off me. He broke the kiss and was suddenly rising over me, stripping his own clothes off with almost desperate haste. I could see him above me, silhouetted against the glow of the panel lights, his body looking like some perfect damn sculpture. I wanted the Goddamn lights in that moment; I wanted to see him…all of him, aroused and wanting me. I wanted to see his eyes dilated with passion.

He dropped down, hovering over me, holding himself up on his arms mere inches from me.

‘Duo…?’ he moaned, asking me for confirmation, asking me for permission.

‘Please…’ I whispered, my voice thick and I hardly even knew what I was asking for. ‘Please…please…’ but it was all I could manage. I reached up and pulled him the rest of the way down. We both gasped with the sudden feeling.

‘Oh God…Duo,’ he groaned before claiming my mouth again, full of desperate need.

My body arched up into his all on its own. His weight, pressing me down into the bunk was an intoxicating thing; it filled me with strange longings and heated desires. My arms wrapped around him and forced him harder against me. His lips on mine were hot and demanding; it felt like he would devour me.

Our bodies were pressed tight together and fire ran in my veins from the touch…from the feel of him. I was overwhelmed with the very idea that we were here, together like this for the first time. It was going to happen…I wanted it to happen…I needed it to happen.

I could feel everything like my senses had been kicked into overdrive. His knees were on either side of mine and I could feel the subtle twitch of his thigh muscles as he shifted above me. His chest was flush with mine and I could feel the brush of his nipples against my skin as he moved. I could feel his tight belly, could feel his fingers clutching at me, feel the cording and shifting of his back muscles under my arms. My wrist was long forgotten…the room we were in was long forgotten…who we were with and where we were going was long forgotten. I was lost in the here and now.

And then he ground his hips down into mine and what little conscious thought I’d had left fled in the face of that new feeling. The evidence of his complete and total arousal stroked across mine and I fucking forgot how to breathe. The ferocity of his desire…of his love for me, took me and shook me to the core.

There was no grace, no gentleness to our lovemaking. It was pure and primal, desperate and frenzied; we were lost in simply moving against each other. His hands seemed to flow over me like scalding water and I wanted so badly to stroke my hands over him as well but was terrified of accidentally hurting with my damn, near-nerveless fingers. I fisted them in the sheets instead and felt fire lance up my left arm…but I didn’t care.

His hand found its way under me somehow and settled in the small of my back, guiding me; helping me turn my frantic writhing into a rhythm. A rhythm he punctuated with moaning cries and the near sobbing of my name.

We were both slick with sweat in a matter of minutes, equally full of hunger and need, desperate for some kind of release, for an answer to our body’s yearnings.

It didn’t take long. It was over in an embarrassingly short amount of time. He was suddenly crying out to God and the feel of his seed spilling hot and thick between us was all it took to make me arch up against him, my head thrown back in a silent scream and I came right along with him.

We collapsed together then and I swear for a time I couldn’t have moved if the damn ship’s alarms had gone off. There was only the sound of our panting breath and the thunder of my own heart in my ears. It was long minutes before I was even aware enough to realize that tears were streaming unhindered down my face. I made no sound. It was longer still before Heero turned to gently kiss me and tasted the salt on my lips.

‘Duo?’ he breathed and made to lever off me, ‘Oh God…I hurt you…’

‘No,’ I told him and let go of the sheets to wrap my arms around him tight. ‘Stay…please…I’m fine.’

He stopped trying to get up but I could tell he was being cautious with his weight. He leaned down to ghost small kisses across my face. ‘What’s wrong, love?’

‘Nothing,’ I told him and smiled softly. ‘I’m sorry…I can’t seem to get it stopped.’

He swept his kisses gently across my cheek. ‘Don’t try…just let it go. It’s all right…I’m here.’

I sighed and it felt like something went out of me with that breath. ‘I love you…’ I whispered, ‘so much it hurts sometimes.’

He gathered me up and cradled me close in his arms. I have never in all my life felt so safe and protected…so cherished.

‘Duo.’ He sighed, his voice a mere breath next to my ear. ‘My Duo…Do you understand how precious you are to me?’

It made me shiver. ‘I…I think I’m beginning to.’

He continued to gift me with soft kisses; raining them down on my upturned face…on my exposed throat.

‘Heero?’ I asked after a bit, through the stupid damn tears.

‘Hmmm?’ he pulled back a little to smile warmly down at me.

‘Why this time?’ I blurted and felt my face flare hotly. ‘I mean…I’ve offered before…’

His smile became tender. ‘This is the first time you’ve reached for me because you wanted it.’

I opened my mouth to object and then thought better of it, seeing the truth in it. I hadn’t been ready before this trip, had been too afraid. I still felt oddly uncertain about…some things and ridiculously inexperienced next to him. I almost wanted to laugh thinking about it…here I was, Duo Maxwell, street rat extraordinaire and I felt like a damn blushing bride on her wedding night. I’d be willing to bet that I had seen and heard more things in my lifetime than he had ever imagined and yet…

Ok…I might as well just say this. During the war I had fallen in love with Heero Yuy. Fallen hard, been resoundingly rejected and had crawled off to lick my wounds. I had thrown up more damn defenses than a maximum-security prison. This was my first and only sexual experience of any kind. Unless you count Jensen and I don’t. Stop your damned laughing.

I held him on top of me and he finally stopped fighting it, giving in and relaxing against me and eventually the tears dried.

‘If you don’t let me get up and clean us up,’ he chuckled when I seemed to have calmed, ‘we’re going to end up glued together.’

‘And wouldn’t that just be a bitch to explain,’ I smiled along with him and let him go.

He pulled away and I stifled a gasp at the empty feeling it gave me to lose his anchoring presence. But he was right; we were pretty disgustingly crusty and we ended up having to make a trip to the head together. He carefully made sure the door was firmly shut before turning the light on.

While we were there, he insisted I take a couple of pain pills and I didn’t argue; my wrist was killing me. Clean and in fresh shorts we found our way back to the bunk in the dark and practically fell into it. I felt completely drained and like I might actually be able to sleep even here in the room from hell.

‘Thank you,’ I murmured drowsily after we had settled back down.

‘For what?’ he asked, sounding amused.

‘I dunno…’ I yawned and nuzzled into the curl of his arm. ‘Puttin’ up with all my crap?’

He snorted softly but didn’t speak and I felt myself beginning to drift. ‘You know, Yuy,’ I snickered on a sudden thought, ‘that was a pretty damn pathetic first time.’

He laughed out loud. ‘It was rather, wasn’t it? What…five minutes, you think?’

I repressed a sound that was almost a giggle. ‘That long?’

He leaned over, kissed me gently on the temple and said huskily, ‘We’ll do better next time.’

I meant to answer him but I think I fell asleep first. And yeah, there were some damn strange dreams. I kept twitching awake, my hands reaching to comfort a crying child that I could never find. I tried not to wake Heero but a couple of times I found him stroking calming fingers over my brow and his whispered words eased me back to sleep. It was a long freaking night.

He had thought to lay clothes out for us the night before and when we woke in the morning we dressed quickly in the dark. I fled that room like all the little devils from hell were on my ass.

We were only a few hours out of L2 and I was able to use that as an excuse to breeze through breakfast, then disappear into the cockpit. I didn’t go so far as shutting the door this time, though it did cross my mind. I kept expecting Toria to descend on me, but Heero must have been running interference because she never arrived to get her questions answered.

I busied myself for the next couple of hours contacting the L2 port authorities, reporting the accident and thus justifying my screwed over schedule and requesting a new timetable. I was granted immediate dock access under the emergency laws that gave priority to all ships involved in any sort of rescue operation. I spent a few minutes arranging for a set of the ‘holy shit’ disaster packages supplied by the local spacers guild to be delivered to our designated docking bay. Then I ordered a couple of changes of clothes for Hayden and Toria, charging it to my account and paying the extra amount to have them expedited. It should all be there to meet us when we docked. The spacers guild handed out kits of ‘necessities’ to disaster victims, and though the toiletries and ration bars would be welcome, the clothes they supplied fairly screamed ‘welfare case!’ and I wouldn’t have my friends reduced to that. I would have loaned them my own clothes if there had been a chance in hell that either of them could have fit into anything I owned.

I spent the last hour connected in to the station net now that we were close enough and hunted up the web site for the thrice-damned zero gravity exposition. I’m a little embarrassed to admit that I was half hoping it was too late to register. Just my luck, registration didn’t close for another eight hours and I was left realizing that I had to make the damn decision. Then I came to me that there really wasn’t any damn decision; it was like I had told Heero…I had to try. I signed us up. Brannigan and Maxwell, back in the saddle again. Oh joy of joys. Wonder where in the hell I’d packed away our damned costumes?

Twenty minutes out I got on the intercom and called all my little birds to roost. ‘Time to belt down children,’ I called brightly and heard their voices coming toward the cockpit a few minutes later.

‘…sink hole over all…but there’re still places that you just have to see,’ I heard Toria saying and felt like laughing. Victoria Brannigan, L2 tour guide. The idea of Relena Peacecraft visiting some of the places I knew Toria to frequent was just fucking surreal. Actually…if I thought about it too hard…it was kind of scary.

Heero came and took the co-pilot’s chair and we shared this…look. I felt the heat rising slightly to my face, feeling like the whole damn world could look at us and tell what had happened last night. Heero grinned at me and tossed me a wink.

I bent back to work, listening to the sounds of Relena, Chezarina and Hayden belting down in the jump seats. I only had the three. Toria would anchor herself to one of the snap rings and ride in standing up, being the most experienced one in the group. Wouldn’t be a problem unless we had an accident.

The comm. beeped and I got my final authorization and docking assignment and began my approach, giving the faceless port authority tech my confirmation.

‘We don’t have to listen to more of that obnoxious music, do we?’ Relena suddenly asked and I squelched the urge to play something truly outrageous like ‘Rhinotillexomania’ and turned to smile at her.

‘Not here,’ I explained. ‘I don’t dock here often enough to have developed any…contacts.’

She gave me a confused look. ‘But…I thought this was your home?’

I turned back to my boards to hide the pang of irritation; did the woman not fucking hear I thing I said to her? ‘You’re sitting aboard my home. I came from L2…that doesn’t mean I live here. And it doesn’t mean I have to like it here.’

Oooops. That came out a little bit bitter.

‘It’s not as bad as it used to be,’ Toria interjected gently and I realized she, at least, had picked up on my annoyance.

‘You just like it here because this is where your years of stalking innocent spacers finally came to fruitation,’ I tossed out with only half my attention.

‘You stalked me?’ Hayden asked, sounding aghast and the two of them were off and running; I blessed them for moving the conversation away from me. Then I just shut them all out.

Docking on a station is a hell of a lot easier than landing on a planetary body. You match velocity and aim for the door, what could be easier? We were in and down right on our new schedule, and had only to wait for the docking bay to pressurize before we could leave the ship and begin our business of the day. That gave me about a half an hour to figure out just what in the hell to do. I had come here to take Relena around to tour the site of the Maxwell church massacre and visit the new orphanage that had been erected in its name, not three blocks away from the memorial. I had meant to walk her through the neighborhood and let her see just how one lived when one was not blessed with parents and money, fame and power.

But I had less than twenty-four hours before the exposition; I had to get together with Hayden and go over the routine. We had to run through it and practice since we hadn’t danced together in a very long time. I didn’t even know if I had the stamina to pull this off; I had to get myself into a tournament sized gravity bay and see if I could hold up.

And I had my ship to see to, refueling and refitting. My new schedule had us departing for Earth day after next.

I sat back with a heavy sigh and reached to rub at a suddenly throbbing temple. How in the bloody hell was I going to manage all this? There was only one of me and not near enough hours in the day. I wasn’t going to be able to pull this off. Fuck, Superman couldn’t pull this off.

I was suddenly aware of the fact that the cabin had gone quiet and I glanced up to find everyone looking at me. Well shit; hadn’t they ever seen a poor beleaguered salvage man at his wit’s end before?

Ok. I had a half an hour until we could leave the ship. I could get a lot of the prep-work done toward the launch on Monday, the time sensitive stuff and finish it up late tonight after everything else was taken care of. If we left immediately, I could get Relena to the orphanage and the memorial this morning and then this afternoon I could take Hayden and go rent a gravity bay.

I rubbed at the back of my neck and turned toward my boards. One thing at a time…I reached to log into the station net and a warm hand descended over mine.

‘Duo,’ Heero said and there was rebuke in it, ‘you’re doing it again.’

I blinked up at him, confused. ‘What?’

‘You are not alone,’ he told me gently. ‘You do not have to do everything yourself.’

I felt my face flushing. ‘Heero…’ I began but Toria joined him.

‘Chezarina, Relena and I are going out today to do…girl stuff.’ She grinned at me and I whirled around to look at them, seeing the confirmation on Relena’s embarrassed face that the jig was, indeed, up.

‘How…?’ I began and Toria’s delighted laughter cut me off.

‘You went to bed too early last night.’ Her smirk told me she hadn’t bought that story but was temporarily willing to go along with it.

I looked from one of them to the other and started to feel like a man who had walked into the middle of a complicated movie. Without popcorn.

‘I am taking you to see a physician,’ Heero informed me firmly. ‘Then I will come back here and make the arrangements for our return trip.’

I gaped at him for a moment; I had forgotten about the trip to the Doctor. Damn. One more freaking thing to have to deal with.

‘If the Doctor clears you,’ Heero temporized, ‘then you and Hayden will continue from there to the exposition to register.’

I opened my mouth to tell him we were already registered and then thought better of it. The ping of an incoming message kept me from having to respond. My hands moved automatically to accept and a bored and unfamiliar voice informed me that my packages had arrived and would be waiting for me at the check-in desk. I thanked the woman and cut the connection.

‘What packages?’ Heero wanted to know, still standing over me.

‘I ordered some things for Hayden and Toria,’ I told him absently, trying to adjust my thinking to this new idea of letting somebody else take care of my duties.

‘You what?’ Toria demanded from behind me and I cringed. Oooops again. I guess I should have worked up to that declaration a little slower. I took a deep breath and turned around in my chair to look at her. She and Hayden both were wearing only the gray shorts and tank top, ‘ships clothes’ that most of us wore when we were aboard our ships.

‘Were you planning on touring L2 in your underwear?’ I drawled and was rewarded with a hint of color on her cheeks and I bulled forward. ‘I don’t know whether you’ve ever noticed before but you are a good six or seven inches taller than I am…anything I own is barely going to come down to your knees. You needed clothes…I ordered clothes.’

She just stood and looked at me for a minute and then suddenly whirled and stormed off toward the galley.

A strange, inarticulate sound of frustration and confusion forced it’s way out of my throat and I turned on Hayden. ‘What the hell?’ I demanded and was further thrown off by the weird little grin he was giving me. After a second, he crooked a finger at me indicating that he wanted me on my feet and Heero stepped aside to let me rise.

‘Hayden?’ I asked, somewhat hesitantly and his grin only widened. He stepped forward and placed one of his big hands in the middle of my back, giving me a gentle nudge toward the door.

‘My guess is she’s in the galley. You need to go talk to her.’

I resisted the pressure on my back and looked around but saw no help coming from any of the others. ‘She’s your wife…’ I began but he only leaned down and said softly.

‘But you’re the one who made her cry…you go get snot all over your shirt.’ The nudge became a push.

‘Nani!’ I blurted and then sighed in defeat. If this was any indication…it was not going to be a good day.

She was indeed in the galley and damned if she wasn’t in tears. Guess the man knows his wife pretty well.

She was sitting in one of the chairs toward the back of the room with her head buried in crossed arms and I could tell from the way her shoulders were shaking that she was sobbing like a little kid.

Damn. The sight of steady, competent, drink-you-under-the-table, tough as nails Victoria Grace Brannigan crying her eyes out was…scary. I moved to sit on the edge of the table beside her.

‘Uhmmm…’ I ventured at length, ‘I’m not at all sure what I’ve done wrong…but I’m really, really sorry.’

She raised her head and scrubbed rather ineffectively at her eyes and glared at me. ‘You are insufferably thoughtful and so God damn sweet I just wanna kill you,’ she growled and smacked the crap out of my knee. ‘You are the best damn friend anybody could ever ask for and I don’t know what in the hell we’d do without you.’ She smacked me again, then threw herself into my lap and starting sobbing like her heart was broken.

It took me a couple of confused seconds before my head engaged and I wrapped my arms around her and just held on.

‘I’m really sorry…’ I soothed, ‘I’ll try to be more of an asshole from now on. I promise.’

She giggled against my thigh. ‘You’re going to have to be a real prick to make up for all this nice crap.’

‘I will be a monster,’ I vowed, ‘an absolute bastard.’

She raised her head and looked up at me, blinking the tears away and her smile faded. ‘Thank you, Duo Maxwell,’ she whispered.

‘You are entirely welcome.’ I grinned and watched something haunted come into her eyes.

‘Duo…’ she frowned, ‘I shouldn’t have pushed you into agreeing to this tournament. I didn’t realize…’

‘Don’t you start with me,’ I smiled and used my knuckle to wipe the last of her tears away. ‘I am fine.’

She arched an eyebrow. ‘That would be why you had to take a nap yesterday in mid-cycle?’

I just smirked back and shrugged. ‘So I’ll take a nap tomorrow after the competition.’

‘I don’t want you making yourself sick over this.’ She glared and laid her head back down on my leg. ‘You’re more important to us than this stupid prize money.’

‘Toria, sweetie,’ I sighed, ‘what’s the worst that could happen? So I get dizzy and flub the dance and we lose? So what? At least we tried.’

She didn’t say anything so I took the opportunity to change the subject. ‘So how, exactly, did you ‘find out’ about Relena?’

She shifted and draped an arm across my lap, pillowing her head on it. ‘Hayden and I talked last night. We realized just how much you had going on and that we were going to have to see to it you let somebody help you.’

I glared down at her but she didn’t see it.

‘We decided that I could take over entertaining your…guests for you while you practiced with Hayden.’ She sighed, her fingers plucking absently at the seam in my jeans. ‘We figured we might as well just admit to Relena that we knew who she was.’

I snorted. ‘And that went over how well?’

She chuckled dryly. ‘She turned the most interesting shade of red I have ever seen…next to you the other day when Heero said he was auditioning to be your lover.’ I felt my face flame completely against my will and she peeked up at me. ‘Yeah…that’s the color.’

I smacked her lightly in the back of the head. ‘Back to your story, spacer-girl,’ I growled.

‘I had to explain to her that she has one of the most recognizable faces in the damn solar system.’ She shook her head, not an easy task with it still lying in my lap. ‘I swear to God…to be as smart as she is, that girl can be dense.’

I repressed a snicker and then sighed. ‘I guess that’s sorta what got us out here in the first place.’

She giggled again. ‘I think Chezarina was just glad to have it all out in the open…I swear to God she was giving herself an ulcer trying to keep all the secrets straight!’

I laughed. ‘I noticed she’d been awfully quiet.’

There was a moment of strange silence. ‘Buddy-boy?’ she said softly.

‘Yeah?’ I prompted, wondering what in the world had her getting all serious again.

‘Heero…’ she said, her fingers still fidgeting with the edge of the seam. ‘He’s…good to you? You’re happy?’

I smiled down at her. ‘He’s…very good to me.’

‘I feel guilty sometimes,’ she confessed softly, ‘like I stole Hayden away from you.’

I snorted. ‘I thought we established that he isn’t my type?’

She raised her head long enough to frown up at me. ‘Not like that, asshole. But I’m not stupid…the two of you would have eventually gone into business together…you wouldn’t have been all by yourself all this time.’

I chuckled and rubbed a knuckle against the top of her head. ‘Now you have a crystal ball?’

She finally sat up, abandoning my lap all together. ‘I worry about you…the jobs you take. And all by yourself. Things wouldn’t be like that if you had a partner.’

‘Well now I have one,’ I grinned. ‘And this one comes with fringe benefits that the last one wouldn’t have.’

She threw back her head and laughed with delight. Thankfully the all-clear chime sounded to let us know that we were able to leave the ship, finally, and effectively ended our conversation.

‘You ok now, spacer-girl?’ I asked warmly and she nodded. ‘Then let’s get out of here.’

‘After you Captain.’

I hopped off the table. ‘You got snot on my pants.’

‘I didn’t get snot on your pants.’

‘You wanna explain this mess in my lap then?’

‘Maybe Heero can explain that mess in your lap.’

‘Toria!’

She only giggled.

While we had been otherwise occupied, Heero had made arrangements to have my arm checked by the station med team, circumventing the necessity of making an appointment with a commercial physician by implying that the injury had happened during the rescue of the Brannigans. Hayden had spent the half hour on-line filling out electronic paperwork about the accident and sending messages to their respective families letting them know that everything was all right, they were both alive. News about ships’ accidents traveled fast among those in the trades.

I retrieved my packages from the check-in desk first thing and brought them back so that Hayden and Toria could dress.

It was very strange; it suddenly seemed that there were people all over my ship running back and forth and hollering at each other. Hayden wanting to know if I even still had the damn costumes and did I remember if the buckles had been let all the way out or not. Toria needing to borrow some of my clothes, God only knew why, I’d ordered everything I could think of. Chezarina questioning Toria about which shoes she should wear. Relena wanting some assurance that the ship would be secure while we were all out of it. It seemed I should be doing things but all I could do was stand in the middle of this tornado of humanity and look bemused.

Just as it seemed that everyone was about ready to go, Heero pulled me into the cockpit and before I quite knew what he was up to, into his arms.

‘I want you to call on me today when you need me,’ he told me resolutely.

‘Mine to command?’ I teased.

‘Absolutely,’ he confirmed with a small smile.

‘Then kiss me.’ I grinned and he did, long and deep. Made my damn knees feel weak.

‘Stop now…’ I moaned, ‘or I’m going to have to go change my damn pants again.’

He smiled with just a hint of satisfaction in his eyes.

We assembled in the corridor by the lock; I didn’t want to troupe everybody out through the cargo bay with that damn painting staring down at us. Time enough to get into that later.

Toria came out looking damn fine in the dark green jeans and light green t-shirt I had picked out for her and I had to grin; green was the woman’s color. I was pleased to see Hayden in the complimentary outfit of black and green that I had bought for him. I had meant it as a set and they looked good together. Chezarina showed up in a sensible pants suit with a pair of comfortable walking shoes. Relena made me do a double take though; I saw what Toria had needed to borrow some of my clothes for. I would not have recognized her had she not been standing in my ship and was clearly identified by process of elimination. She was wearing a pair of my jeans and a white t-shirt that had a logo on it for a comic book I was rather fond of; ‘The Hell-bound Beavers’. One of my denim shirts was open over the top of it thankfully, because the more…graphic picture was on the back of the t-shirt. Her hair was braided back in a simple and utilitarian spacer style and they had done things with her make-up that had Heero’s mouth hanging open. They had obviously gotten their heads together and decided that Relena would go out and about as ‘Lena’.

Heero looked at Relena, looked at Toria and then looked at me and his eyes conveyed what a terribly bad idea he had decided this was.

I turned on Toria and growled in my low, menacing voice, ‘She does not come back tattooed or pierced. She does not come back drunk. And she damn well better come back with her…virtue intact.’

She snickered evilly. ‘Well…shit, buddy-boy…you just killed half the days plans.’

I glared. ‘Just remember…I have your husband in my possession.’

Her grin widened. ‘Ohhh….a hostage, huh?’ And she threw Hayden an appraising glance. ‘Husband…fun…husband…fun. I dunno, hon,’ she told him, ‘tough call.’

‘Thank you, oh light of my life,’ he drawled and gave me his put upon look, shaking his head sadly.

I turned to Heero. ‘Did you bring your pager?’ And I got a tight nod. ‘Give the number to Chezarina.’

It was the best I could do short of calling the whole thing off. I’m not sure whether it was Heero or me who stole more glances at Relena as we trouped our way out of the ship and across the cold docking bay. Oh what a wonderful day this was starting out to be.

We split up after we passed through the check-in process; the girls went their way and we went ours.

‘Are you sure about this?’ Heero growled when they were out of earshot.

‘Me?’ I complained. ‘I thought this was a bad idea the minute I saw Relena wearing my ‘Hell-bound Beavers’ shirt.’

‘You don’t honestly think they’d go…bar-hopping do you?’ He sincerely looked nervous.

‘At this point,’ I sighed, ‘I am not about to rule out anything on this nightmare tour of hell.’

His steps faltered and he looked at me sharply. I could see ages old instincts kicking in; protect the girl. Protect the Princess. Protect the Queen. Protect the peace. I had to squelch the strange little twist of…something that curled around in my belly.

Then I thought about the trip we were making to the med-lab and realized how it might be convenient if Heero weren’t there to hear what the Doctor had to say. I was interrupted before I could act on the thought.

‘Listen guys,’ Hayden suddenly rumbled quietly and we both stopped and looked up at him, ‘don’t tell Torie I told on them…but she was only planning on taking them over to the L2 history museum and then out to lunch.’

I grinned up at him. ‘You’re kidding?’

He shook his head and returned the grin. ‘She is very aware of the responsibility she has taken on…she hardly slept at all last night.’

We resumed our trek to the medical building and I stole a glance at Heero. He looked very much reassured.

I got x-rayed and examined. Heero got a complement on his field dressing. Then I got fitted with a removable, velcro fastened, plastic and metal brace; I did very much have a fractured wrist. Though they let me ditch the stupid sling.

Heero did not go into the examining room with me. I could not believe my luck. I felt a little bad when I thought about it too much, he obviously trusted me to tell him the truth. But then, I didn’t really lie to him. The Doctor did not tell me I couldn’t compete…of course, I never actually asked about it. But that doesn’t count as a lie now, does it?

I came out to the waiting room with a grin plastered all over my face and found Heero sitting there looking irritated and Hayden looking…extremely uncomfortable. I wondered just what in the hell they had done to occupy themselves for the half hour I’d been gone.

‘Come on, you guys!’ I called cheerily. ‘We have some practicing to do!’ Implying, of course, that I had been completely cleared for competition.

I managed to get them herded outside before it crossed anybody’s mind to go speak with the Doctor on their own. We stood in the corridor for a minute; this is where we would be splitting up.

‘You need to get the refueling request in the queue as quick as possible,’ I warned Heero, ‘L2 is notorious for taking forever; their scheduling sucks. And our flight plan needs to be refiled. Cancel the original one first before you put in the new request or they’ll get it all screwed up. If you…’

‘Duo,’ he cut me off, ‘I’ll manage.’ He seemed upset and I wasn’t exactly sure why. I met his gaze and tried to ask without asking but all I got was a heavy sigh. ‘You need to get going,’ was all he said.

He turned and made his way back into the bowels of in-station and I watched him walk away for a minute before turning to follow Hayden toward the more populated out-station. After a minute or two of walking, Hayden seemed to relax a little.

‘How in the hell did you ever manage to hook up with someone like…him?’ he suddenly asked.

I grinned up at him. ‘Uhmmm…just lucky, I guess?’

He snorted. ‘He’s…scary, Duo.’

The corridors were widening out and we were starting to encounter more foot traffic.

‘Just what in the hell did you two talk about while I was getting checked out?’ I asked, suddenly sure that was where this was coming from.

He looked down at me as we made our way toward the commercial section where we would have to hail a cab to take us where we were headed.

‘He threatened me with bodily harm if I allowed you to hurt yourself,’ he said blandly, as though he had just commented on the weather.

‘What?’ I blurted and wasn’t sure if I should be angry or…glowingly pleased.

‘You never asked the Doctor about the tournament…did you?’ he asked suddenly and I felt myself blush. Hayden chuckled. ‘Your…partner knows you too well. He told me you wouldn’t.’

‘Then why in the hell didn’t he just ask the guy himself?’ I sputtered.

‘He told me he knew you were going to do this no matter what he said and he knew better than to try and stop you.’ He chuckled gently. ‘I think he left you the out so the two of you wouldn’t have to fight about it.’

I sighed and just walked for a little bit looking at the ground. Guess I should have realized there was a reason Heero hadn’t gone in to see the Doctor with me. He never trusts that I won’t push myself too far. On the one hand I was rather pleased that he had backed off and was going to let me try this without interfering. On the other hand I felt guilty as hell that he was obviously tied up in knots about it if he’d actually threatened Hayden.

‘Hey…Brannigan to Maxwell…come in Maxwell.’ I glanced up into Hayden’s laughing eyes and realized that he’d called me more than once. I grinned sheepishly.

‘This is Maxwell,’ I responded to that ages old banter and watched his smile fade.

‘Duo…are you sure you’re up to this?’ he asked, suddenly as serious as I think I’d ever seen him, ‘Heero seems…damned worried.’

I shrugged, uncomfortable. ‘Won’t know until we try.’

He stopped our forward progress with a hand on my shoulder, making me look up at him in surprise. ‘Just how the hell bad are you?’ he blurted.

I squirmed under his scrutiny. ‘Look…it’s not as bad as it was…I’m getting better.’

He wouldn’t let us resume walking. ‘How bad was it?’ I didn’t answer immediately and he glared at me. ‘We’re going into this together…I need to know what your condition is.’

I resisted the urge to jerk away from his restraining hand. ‘Damn it,’ I growled, ‘I was a month in the hospital and another month in a Goddamn wheel chair. I just…tire easily, Ok?’

He blinked at me but the frown faded a little. ‘You glossed over a hell of a lot when you told this little story, huh?’

I snorted and he finally moved his hand and started us walking again. ‘Nobody wants to hear the gory details,’ I muttered.

‘Well…’ he grinned after a moment, ‘since my life is riding on not letting anything happen to you, I’d kind of like a clue.’

I snapped a glance in his direction. ‘He didn’t really threaten to hurt you, did he?’

His grin turned wry. ‘Not in so many words…but he has a glare that can make your damn balls retract.’

I had to laugh. We caught that cab not long after and finally found ourselves where this whole bloody day had been leading. We were lucky enough to find one of the rattier little arenas that still had time available and I rented the thing for the next three hours.

I spent the first hour just trying to get a feel for how much my body was going to be able to take at one end of the dome while Hayden ran through his part of the routine at the other. I was appalled at how quickly I felt the drain and had to stop for a break after only a half an hour. Hayden saw me leave the null gravity field and kited over with a worried frown on his face.

‘Duo?’ he asked when he was close enough, ‘are you all right?’

I grinned at him and waved him off. ‘I’ve learned my limits…and not to push them. I’m fine. I just have to take breaks.’

He sat with me while I took my five minutes and then I decided we’d best run through the routine together while I was still able.

It was like we’d never stopped. I have to tell you, much as I had fallen in love with Hayden’s Toria…I adored the woman…I had felt strangely abandoned when they had gone and gotten married. I had truly enjoyed competing in the expo and we’d been pretty damn good together. It just wouldn’t have been the same entering the contest on my own. Sure, there were events for solo athletes but it just wouldn’t have been...hell, it just wouldn’t have been any damn fun. I had to admit to myself that I had kind of missed this.

We ran through the routine once, laughing our asses off, teasing each other about being sloppy, making jokes about the stupid costumes. I was enjoying myself so much that I almost pushed it too far and wound up having to go lie on the bench for almost fifteen minutes. Hayden hovered over me, watching my hands shake and looking like he’d just swallowed something bitter.

‘I’m calling this off,’ he blurted at one point.

‘Can’t,’ I drawled, grinning up at him, ‘we’re already registered.’

‘What?’ He glared. ‘When…?’

‘Modern technology,’ I smirked. ‘You can do that on-line now.’

‘We’ll withdraw,’ he growled.

‘We’re passed the time-limit,’ I informed him. ‘We’ll lose the registration fee.’

He just sat and frowned at me. I finally fished in my pocket for some change. ‘Here…you wanna do something; go get me a soda from the vending machines.’

He took the money and stalked off to fetch the requested drink. I managed to get myself sitting up before he got back and I engaged him quickly in a technical discussion of the routine. The worry in his eyes slowly faded as he warmed to the topic and by the time I had drunk half the can of soda we were ready to give it another go.

The realization that our practice time was limited to my stamina kicked us in the ass a little bit and made us buckle down and get serious. We ran through the routine again without all the horseplay and it was much, much better. Except for the part where I almost passed out. I was able to keep Hayden from seeing it; let him think that I had misjudged a kick-off and gotten stranded in mid arena. It let me hang there and drift getting my breath and sight back while he rebounded to my end of the gym and nudged me into motion again. I called a time-out and went to finish the other half of my can of soda.

‘Doin’ ok?’ he asked when we got settled on the bench and I laughed boldly at him.

‘You’re starting to sound like Heero!’

‘I’m starting to understand Heero,’ he deadpanned and there was warning in it. I just kept my hands moving to hide the shaking.

‘I’m fine,’ I told him firmly.

‘My ass,’ he growled back and made me laugh again.

We sat for a bit and contemplated the empty arena in front of us and I finally ventured, ‘I think we should have a plan B.’

He looked at me out of the corner of his eye. ‘Going back to the war days, are you? We need a contingency plan for a dance routine?’

I snorted. ‘Well; it does sound kind of stupid when you put it like that.’

He just waited for me to elaborate and I sighed, knowing he wasn’t going to like it. ‘In case I can’t manage to finish the damn thing.’

He looked at me rather sharply and I cut him off with a raised hand. ‘You know it’s going to be more…strenuous tomorrow with all the gear and props. If I can’t make it…I’d rather cover it up than humiliate myself in front of the whole damn colony, Ok?’

I won a small chuckle and he finally agreed. We spent our last hour working on plan B. When we were done, I was damned glad we weren’t having to walk all the way back to the ship; I’m sure I wouldn’t have made it. I didn’t think I’d make the short walk from where the cab dumped us out to the docking bay. I swallowed a little of my pride and made Hayden stop to let me rest when we were within sight of the docks. I’d scare the crap out of Heero if I walked aboard ship in the state I was in at that point. He’d probably sedate me on the spot and haul my ass back to Earth.

‘I need to ask you a small favor,’ I said to Hayden while we sat on the metal bench and I got my trembling under control.

He gave me a funny look and a sardonic smile. ‘I owe you my life and the clothes on my damn back…I think I can do you a small favor.’

I flushed and ducked my head. ‘Could you just…not say anything to Toria about how much trouble I had today?’ I sighed, studying my hands and realizing suddenly that I had forgotten to put my glove back on. ‘I don’t think I can deal with the both of them…hovering over me.’

He laughed rather abruptly. ‘Both of them? That would be rather cruel and unusual punishment, don’t you think?’

When I could hold my hands out and they seemed almost steady, we resumed our walk.

‘You’re makin’ me feel like shit, Duo,’ he grumbled as we went.

‘I know,’ I grinned up at his scowling visage, ‘but, damnit, Hayden I wish you guys would put this in perspective; we’re not going on a salvage run. We’re not going on a life or death mission. What’s the worst that could happen?’

‘You could make yourself sick from the competition,’ he intoned, ‘at which point Heero could castrate me and feed my balls to my wife since this was all her idea.’

I thought I would choke to death laughing my ass off all the way up the ramp.

We found the girls still out and Heero alone on the ship. I know he had more than enough to keep him busy but he still managed to look like he’d done nothing but chew on something distasteful all afternoon.

He greeted us with a guarded, ‘How’d it go?’

‘Not too bad,’ I grinned, ‘for a couple of old, out of shape, salvage guys!’

Hayden snorted and headed for the galley, muttering something about getting some juice. I’m pretty sure he was just giving us a little privacy.

‘How’d your day go?’ I asked lightly, hoping to keep things from getting too intense.

He actually gave me a small grin. ‘Life was easier with a war on,’ he chuckled. ‘How do you deal with all the damn red tape?’

‘It’s an art form,’ I laughed at him. ‘So, you have a little bit more appreciation for my skills?’

He reached out and snagged my good wrist suddenly and pulled me forward with an odd smile. ‘Oh…I appreciated your skills already. All of them.’

I would have laughed if my mouth had not suddenly found something else to occupy itself with.

When he drew back, the worried look was dancing around his eyes again. ‘You’re trembling,’ he accused and I opened my mouth to wade into the familiar argument but he didn’t give me the chance. ‘And you stink. Shower…then nap. I’ll call you for dinner.’

I wanted to glare. I wanted to argue. But, you know, when you got right down to it, it really sounded damn nice. So instead of getting into it all over again, I just smiled and nodded and walked away. See? Sometimes I do know when to just accept things.

But I did take the liberty of using my own cabin and my own shower. Hayden hadn’t gotten all that damn sweaty, the show off; if he wanted a shower he could wait until after dinner.

Once cleaned up, I fell into my bed and barely remember closing my damn eyes. Even the faint throbbing of my wrist didn’t disturb me after the little amount of sleep I’d gotten the night before. I was totally dead to the world for the next couple of hours and when Heero came to wake me to tell me it was time to eat, it was a major struggle to convince myself that I needed to get the fuck up.

I made him go find my glove before I’d consent to go to dinner and then used the few minutes he was gone to throw cold water on my face and rinse my mouth. God; seemed like all I did anymore was sleep.

He came back with it and helped me pull it on even though I’m sure he was about to bite his tongue off to keep from objecting. I gave him a warm smile of appreciation and a small kiss. ‘Thanks, love,’ I murmured.

He only grunted.

I was relieved to hear the ladies’ voices as we went toward the galley and I glanced up at Heero with a mischievous grin. ‘Relena didn’t come back tattooed or…worse?’

‘Not as near as I can tell,’ he answered and I honestly don’t think he was kidding.

‘Hey buddy-boy!’ Toria crowed as we came into the room, ‘you’re just in time…dinner should be here any minute!’

‘Be here?’ I questioned, confused.

‘Lena here,’ she jabbed a thumb in the general direction of her Majesty, who was still wearing my clothes by the way, ‘has never had pizza! Can you believe that? So we ordered pizza.’

I worked my way around the perimeter of the galley to the fridge and snagged a soda bulb, then thought better of it and grabbed a protein drink instead. I glanced up to see if Heero wanted anything while I was there and was graced with an approving smile. I was able to keep myself from flipping him off, just raised an eyebrow instead and he nodded. I brought him one of the protein drinks too; if it was good enough for me…it was good enough for him.

Two seats had been saved for us, side by side and I sank into mine, sitting across from Hayden, making sure that Heero got stuck with the chair next to Relena.

‘So how did you ladies enjoy your trip?’ I asked brightly, hoping to put off the part where Toria and Heero grilled us about our practice session. My sketchpad was still laying on the table and I leaned back, pulling it into my lap and went back to work on Jefty while we talked.

‘Not bad; the beer at the ‘Grotesque Carousel’ is just as bad as I remember it and since when do you have to sign a waiver before you can get your damn belly button pierced on L2?’

I was actually reaching out a hand to make sure Heero didn’t launch himself across the table at her when Hayden intervened by swatting his wife on the thigh with a warning growl. ‘Some things are not funny, my little flower.’

‘Spoil sport,’ she groused, sticking her tongue out at him.

‘We had a lovely time at the museum,’ Chezarina interjected smoothly, ignoring the by-play. ‘You don’t think of the colonies as having separate histories. I’ve been to L4 and it’s a very different…culture.’

‘I went to several of the colonies with my father,’ Relena said quietly and I was a little surprised to hear her enter the conversation at all, ‘but we were always taken right from the shuttle port to whatever embassy he was scheduled to go to. They all looked pretty much the same…I never imagined there was more than that.’

I kept very still, thinking maybe she would forget I was there and would not get all weird again. I concentrated on blocking in the screwdriver clutched in Jefty’s little hand and left it to the others to carry the conversation.

‘All the colonies are very…individual,’ Hayden commented, sipping at a soda, ‘if you get out among the people.’ He chuckled lightly. ‘It’s been my experience that government officials and executives don’t vary much from colony to colony.’

Well, that was subtle. I threw him a sharp glance but he ignored it, only smiling at Relena and raising his soda in mock toast. ‘Present company excepted…of course.’

I held my breath for a minute, waiting for the searing comment that was sure to come next but Relena only chuckled darkly, ‘Of course,’ she accepted graciously and raised her own bulb in return. I almost fell out of my chair. It took some effort for me to get the pencil moving across the paper again.

‘You certainly weren’t acting much like a high-brow official when that blond was giving you the lap dance,’ Toria purred.

I was on to her game by now and didn’t so much as flinch but I really did think Heero was going over the table after her that time, he actually sat forward like he was on the move.

‘Kidding, Heero!’ Toria chortled. ‘Good God man; shit that brick outta your ass, will ya? Lighten up!’

I had the most surreal urge to yell duck and cover!

Relena was struggling hard to suppress a giggle and failing miserably. ‘Victoria!’ she admonished, trying to make it come out stern and then they were both laughing uproariously. Even Chezarina was hiding a wide smile behind her hand and I suddenly recognized all the earmarks of an inside joke. I glanced at Heero and stoic didn’t come close to describing it. I bent my attention back to my sketchpad, managing to finish Jefty’s portrait and flipping to a fresh page to start Helen’s. Wasn’t going to wade into the middle of this one…uh’uh; no thank you ma’am. No way in hell.

Chezarina did leap into the breach not long after, gamely trying to turn the two younger women back to a civil conversation. ‘Actually, we had lunch at a very nice little bistro. They had the most exotic sounding dishes.’

‘Where did you take them?’ Hayden prodded Toria, teaming with Chezarina in an effort to curb his wife.

‘We went down to the ‘Ivy Cottage’,’ she reassured him with a haughty little smirk. I almost gouged a hole in the paper jerking my head up to look at her. Shit, that place was probably the most expensive restaurant in this whole damn sector. Who in the hell had paid for lunch? I saw Hayden asking Toria that same question with a widening of his eyes and then saw the almost imperceptible flick her fingers made in Relena’s direction.

I didn’t know whether to be relieved or appalled. Relieved that Toria hadn’t done something stupid like charged their account; or appalled that one of my guests had been forced to shell out that kind of money to feed another of my guests a meal. I should have thought of making sure that Toria had money before they left the ship that morning but I had been so wrapped up thinking about that trip to the med-lab and then practicing, that it never crossed my mind. I vowed to get some money in their possession before we left the ship again.

Chezarina was describing their lunch with just a little too much detail and I was grateful. It was giving everybody the time to settle down. Relena and Toria were stifling their giggles and beside me, Heero seemed to be thawing back out.

I was lingering on Helen’s picture a little too much, I realized and tried to stop it but she always had been my favorite. I know; Godfathers shouldn’t play favorites but I couldn’t help it. She was my little demon-child; had somehow picked up my penchant for jokes and had a laugh that would have rung off the walls. I felt eyes on me and glanced up to see Heero watching me work with an odd glint in his eyes. I guess when I thought about it; he’d never really seen me draw before. Just the little bit that might have been required for a mission back during the war, mapping sometimes. His scrutiny made me feel uncomfortable and…strangely pleased.

Just when I thought Chezarina was going to quote us the entire menu from memory, the in-coming call bell chimed and Toria grinned, rubbing her hands together in anticipation. ‘Dinner has arrived!’

I flipped the sketchpad closed on Helen’s half finished face and practically leaped to my feet. ‘Great!’ I grinned around. ‘You guys set the table and I’ll go get it!’

I was out the door before anyone had a chance to do more than blink. Damned if Relena was paying for the pizza too.

I went out through the cargo bay, there’s a comm. unit in there and I answered the call from it. The pizza and the delivery guy would be waiting at the check-in desk. Food deliveries were not allowed into the dock area.

I asked to verify the account number on the order before I would accept it and sure enough, it had been pre-paid. It took a small amount of arguing to get the guy to change the account to mine but I tipped him rather handsomely and in the end, he did what I wanted.

I took the pizza boxes and made my way back inside, stopping in the cargo bay to hit the lock-downs for the night-cycle.

‘What the hell took so long, buddy-boy?’ Toria greeted me when I walked back into the galley and I only smiled at her without comment. Then the pizza boxes were being spread across the table and opened, and she forgot about it.

I settled back in my seat unable to completely suppress a small grin of satisfaction but nobody seemed to notice.

I helped myself to a couple slices of pepperoni and sausage and sat back with my sketchbook in my lap, alternating between drawing and eating. I was more than happy to just let the world flow around me if it was content to leave me alone.

There was much teasing as Relena had to taste each of the four varieties of pizza that Toria and Hayden had selected. I let it go, only half listening, and lost myself in remembering just how we had decided that Helen would look, trying to capture that bright, devilish grin. She would have liked Fuzzy-butt and I sketched his bedraggled ear clutched in her little fingers, hinting at his shape with a few quick lines. She was the subject, after all and I only insinuated his presence. I put her in a t-shirt I had seen once that had a little dragon clasping a teddy bear to its chest. She would have liked that too.

I flipped the page to begin the portrait of tiny Hayden Jr., pausing to work my cramping hand for a few minutes and suddenly became aware that the room had grown very quiet. I glanced up to find most of the eyes in the room on me. ‘What?’ I asked, feeling like a pork chop on display at the market.

There were several stifled giggles/chuckles and I frowned. ‘Though I am more than happy to entertain my guests in whatever way I can, mind if I share in the joke?’

Chezarina took pity on me while most of the others just laughed. ‘Victoria has asked you a question three times now, dear.’

I felt my face flush and turned my gaze in Toria’s direction. ‘What can I help you with spacer-girl?’ I grumbled.

‘I said…for the fourth time,’ she couldn’t resist ribbing, ‘may I go turn on some music? It’s entirely too damn quiet in here.’

‘Knock yourself out,’ I growled and she leaped to her feet with a happy smile, going to the control panel there in the galley. She poked at buttons for a minute and I thought to add, ‘no Tom Smith…’

‘You are no damn fun, buddy-boy,’ she tossed over her shoulder and I could see her scrolling through file names on the small screen.

‘You are entirely too much fun, spacer-girl,’ I muttered and took another bite of pizza before bending back to my sketch.

‘Ah!’ Toria crowed and hit some buttons with a certain amount of decisiveness.

‘ …make their yellow blood run cold, fight until you die or drop, a force like ours is hard to stop, close your mind to stress and pain, fight ‘till you’re no longer sane, let not one damn cur pass by, how many of them can we make die?’ Was suddenly blaring across the speakers along with wailing bagpipes and pounding drums.

‘Toria!’ I bellowed and her fingers finally stabbed out and cut the fierce voices off in mid battle cry.

She turned slowly around and every damn eye in the room was on me again. ‘You listen to some truly weird shit, Duo,’ she said quietly and it made me a little mad.

‘That’s why it was in the folder labeled battle music. You wanna tell me how you mistook battle music for dinner music?’

‘I was lookin’ for something a little upbeat.’ She glared back at me.

‘Try the folder labeled Helio,’ I ground out and didn’t miss the odd stiffening from Heero’s direction.

‘Well now that makes much more sense!’ she proclaimed with a roll of her eyes, but turned back to try again and thankfully remembering to adjust the volume. It was pure fluff and dance music this time, light and bright and apparently just what she was looking for because she turned back to the table with a smile, our near argument completely forgotten.

I scowled back down at my sketchpad and found I had to erase a dark line that had appeared when the music had kicked in. Jesus, there was a song I hadn’t needed to listen to since the damn war. It took a minute or two before the conversation recovered and I noticed again that it was Chezarina who prodded it back to life. I sure as hell hoped that Relena realized what a gem she had in that woman. I trusted she was getting some kind of bonus over and above her regular salary for this little trip; she sure as hell deserved it.

Half way through the portrait of Hayden Jr.’s pudgy little face, Heero nudged me gently and admonished me to eat. I glanced up and smiled sheepishly, realizing that I had barely put away half a slice of the pizza. I stopped drawing long enough to finish the first slice, listening for a few minutes to the others talk about the history museum, then went back to work. I didn’t miss the slight sigh from Heero’s direction and spared him a quirk of a grin.

I put little Hay in one of those weird onesie things that snap in the crotch and with ‘Daddy likes me best!’ printed on the front. Finished, I flipped the pad closed and lay it aside, eating the second slice of pizza with a pointed glance in my partner’s direction.

Heero’s eyes were so full of questions it was not even funny. Generated by the sketches or the music or maybe just wondering about the practice that morning, I’m not sure which.