'Do they have anything set up...' I began, but Wufei raised a hand to forestall the questioning.

'I honestly don't know all that much about the position,' he informed me. 'But if you're interested, I can arrange a meeting with Commander Une as soon as tomorrow.'

I blew out a breath and didn't tell him that I'd rather talk to someone else, that the woman unnerved me. I hesitated and glanced over at Heero. His eyes were bright with approval and he smiled encouragingly, giving my shoulder a nudge. 'Go for it,' he said softly, and I felt oddly warmed.

I turned back to Wufei and found that his attention was on his dinner again. 'Ok, man,' I told him. 'Set up an appointment with the scary lady, and I'll talk to her.'

His head snapped up and he gave me a look somewhere between appalled and relieved. 'Maxwell!' he rebuked. 'You do not call Commander Une a 'scary lady'!'

I grinned rather unrepentantly. 'Well... not to her face, I won't.'

He replied with a roll of his eyes and we finished our dinner in that vein, Wufei teasing me about showing up for a job interview in jeans and a t-shirt, and me ribbing him about working for a psychopath.

Things seemed to... relax somehow, though I'm not really sure why they'd had that underlying tension to begin with. It wasn't something I could put my finger on. Maybe Heero had just needed some distraction to forget the incident at the market. Maybe Wufei had been worried that Heero would be upset that he'd offered that job to me and not him. I wasn't sure, but I was glad when the mood lifted and we began laughing and talking like normal.

Dinner was finished soon after, and Wufei insisted on helping with the dishes. Since Heero had cooked, I washed and Wufei dried while my partner sat at the table and kept us company. I had a harsh moment of missing Trowa and Quatre, but it passed, washed away in the banter. Wufei entertained us with job stories and Heero told him about our 'stalker' neighbor. We carefully didn't mention the trip to the grocery and when the dishes were done, went to sit on the couch for a little while, before Wufei had to go home.

'...couldn't believe that Noin made the shot,' Wufei was saying as we settled in the living room, finishing a story he had started about betting on the shooting range at work. 'I lost five credits on that one, and Noin wouldn't let me forget about it for weeks. That's all I heard for the next three assignments.'

I frowned, thinking about that one. 'I thought Sally Po was your partner?' I asked, and watched in some confusion as his cheeks flamed. What the hell had I said?

'I don't really have a permanent partner yet,' he mumbled, looking down at his hands and not at me. 'Right now I'm just tagging in where I'm needed.'

That made me feel like shit, talk about putting your foot in it! I leaned over and laid my hand gently on his arm. 'I'm sorry, Fei,' I told him. 'I didn't mean to make you feel bad. I'm sure you'll find somebody you can work with soon.'

The room seemed to go as dead quiet as a tomb, and Wufei stiffened under my hand. Damn; it must really be a touchy subject for him. I tried to think of something else I could say to make things better, but finally decided I should just keep my mouth shut, I obviously didn't understand the situation at all. I gave his arm a squeeze and then let go.

'Never would have taken you for a betting man,' Heero interjected quietly and the conversation turned back to safer ground. The mood lightened almost immediately, and I was glad that my slip hadn't caused permanent damage; it had been a pleasant evening and I was thankful I hadn't spoiled it.

We sat and visited for a while longer and then Wufei had to go.

'Some of us do have to get up for work in the morning,' he grinned as he slipped into his coat and prepared to leave.

'Well,' Heero chuckled, moving up behind me and giving my shoulder a squeeze. 'Maybe that will change come tomorrow.'

'Then you'll be the only unemployed one, Yuy,' I grinned, glancing over my shoulder at him and catching the strangest look on his face.

'I would call you tomorrow if you two had a damn phone,' Wufei interjected with a smirk. 'So you're going to have to haul your sorry butts out of bed in the morning and call me instead.'

Heero snorted. 'I think we'll manage,' he said, and then a little more seriously, 'maybe I'll come down to headquarters with Duo.'

They looked at one another for a minute and then Wufei smiled broadly. 'Sure thing, Yuy. I heard there was a janitorial position open too.'

I couldn't help but laugh and Heero poked me in the ribs by way of retribution.

Then Wufei was gone and the evening was over. I went to turn down the bed while Heero went through his routine of checking and double-checking all the doors and windows before coming to join me.

I had meant to talk to Heero about the impending interview. I had meant to ask if he knew why Wufei had gotten so upset when I had questioned his lack of a steady partner. But when he came into the room, there was a smile on his face that told me he was thinking of other things besides talking. He came and settled his hands on my hips, pulling me close and nuzzling gently at the side of my neck.

'You know,' he whispered in my ear, low and husky. 'Network Administrator... that's kind of sexy.'

I laughed with delight and wrapped my arms around his neck. 'You're turned on by tech geeks? Why didn't you ever tell me?'

'Never thought about how... suggestive some of the jargon was before now.' He murmured and began working at the buttons on my shirt.

'Hmmm...' I sighed. 'Interfacing?'

'Oh yeah,' he groaned in mock passion. 'Downloading... Upgrading...'

'Talk dirty to me,' I snickered and we were suddenly laughing so hard we fell on the bed in a tangle.

Then the talk was gone and very soon, so were the clothes. The laughter faded as the passions started to rise. He forgot about jobs and markets, forgot about Wufei and dinner as he teased me with lips and hands, making me forget about questions, forget about talking, forget that I had to face scary Colonel Une in the morning.

We lost ourselves in each other and just forgot it all. Finding that place we could give, one to the other... that place where nothing else existed.

When I thought I would explode with the frustration of being held back, when I was starting to wonder if he would ever let us finish, he suddenly rolled us over until I was looking down into blue eyes so dark with passion, they didn't even look like his.

'Take me,' he growled and spread himself out beneath me like some offering to the Gods.

Later I would realize what it was about. Would know that this was brought on by his fears of hurting me, that he was still unsure of himself, still worried about being too rough. But in that moment, my mind was too far gone to care, my body had forgotten how to breathe, and I just answered his demands. Answered our body's demands.

Somehow, over the months, our roles had begun to settle in, and this was his position more often than it was mine. I had forgotten how it felt to be the aggressor, had forgotten that rush of pure, animal control that fills you. Had forgotten how looking down into his upturned face, twisted with passion, filled me with... Gods, I don't know, endorphins maybe? It just made me feel like I could do anything... be anything. Made me feel strong and assured, protective and possessive.

It was overwhelming. I think I screamed with my release. I know he did.

Sated and exhausted, I collapsed across his chest and felt only irritation when he prodded me to go clean up.

'Don' wanna,' I mumbled into the side of his neck, and he chuckled at me.

'You'll be sorry later if we don't,' he teased.

'That'll be then,' I groused. 'Don't wanna move now.'

'Come on, love,' he said, and continued to nudge until I finally moved.

'Sadist,' I mumbled and followed him to the bathroom.

I almost don't remember climbing back into bed. He's always known what to do to keep me from thinking too much about things I can't do anything about anyway. Has always known what things will prey on my mind and when I need to be kept from thinking.

'Love you,' he practically purred in my ear, sounding quite satisfied with himself, as I struggled to stay awake long enough for our goodnights.

'Heart and soul,' I managed and then I was gone.

Morning found me alone in bed and I had to grin up at the ceiling, knowing that Heero was downstairs on the payphone the minute he knew Wufei would be at work. I couldn't help wondering again why in the hell he hadn't just told me that he was interested in checking into the Preventers. I swear he was as excited about my applying for this Administrator job as I was.

It's funny, I should have been nervous about what was amounting to my first ever job interview. But underneath it all somewhere, I guess I knew I probably pretty much had this job if I decided I wanted it. That sounds kind of... conceited, but come on; we'd already been offered positions. I don't much like to go around blowing my own horn or anything, but let's face facts... I'm a Gundam pilot. Was a Gundam pilot, anyway. I probably knew more about computers, computer technology, hacking, and system security than any two administrators twice my age out there anywhere. Not that I'm like... Super-technology guy or anything, but I'd had some of the most advanced training the colonies had to offer, and field experience the likes of which most people could only dream about. I don't go around rubbing people's faces in it... but I know my shit.

I guess the only odd doubt I had, was why Command Une hadn't offered the position to Heero. I'd never admit it to him in a million years, but he's better than I am. Not necessarily smarter or a faster learner, but his training had started years before mine had. He had one hell of a head start on me. Give me enough time and I had no doubt I could catch up and maybe even pass his expertise... but why not start with the best in the first place?

I glanced at the clock and decided I'd better get up and shower or Heero might not give me the time to take one. Colonel Une made me nervous enough, the last thing I needed to do was show up in her office smelling like sex. I wasn't particularly bothered by the prospect of the job interview itself, but I will more than freely admit that I wasn't too keen on meeting with a woman who'd had a hand in scheduling my public execution.

Standing in the bathroom, unbinding my hair, I thought about that a little bit. I'd always wondered... had it been in her date book? Eight hundred hours, meeting with Engineering. Nine hundred, troop inspection. Ten hundred, execute wayward Gundam pilot on camera. Eleven hundred, have nails done.

Forgive me; I had a lot of time sitting in that cell to think about my impending broadcast debut. I had imagined her secretary calling on the intercom, 'Excuse me, Colonel... you're late for your ten o'clock.'

Let's just say the woman had unnerved me and leave it at that.

I was scrubbed as clean as I could get myself, and standing in the closet doorway trying to figure out what to wear, when Heero came back into the apartment. All I could think about was Wufei's teasing cracks about me showing up in jeans and a t-shirt. Truth be told... I didn't own a hell of a lot else.

'Damn, Heero,' I muttered holding up my black jeans and deciding it was probably the best I could do. 'Wufei's never going to let me hear the end of this.'

There was a chuckle and I turned to find my partner standing with a sack in his hand. 'Here,' he said simply, and held it out to me.

The sack bore the logo of the department store in the mall up the block and I couldn't help gaping at him. 'Heero!' I blurted. 'I thought we agreed neither of us would go out alone anymore!'

He managed a sheepish look, and moved closer, still holding the sack out like a damn little kid on Christmas morning. I suddenly realized that he'd never actually agreed to his not venturing out alone. He had only told me he didn't want me doing it. I wanted to be pissed, but he had this damn... expectant look on his face, and I just couldn't be angry with him.

'What did you do?' I asked instead. 'We can't afford...'

He smiled at me, opening the sack when I still didn't reach for it, and pulled out a pair of black dress slacks. 'As of ten o'clock this morning, you are going to have a job and we aren't going to have to worry about money so damn much.'

'And what if I don't get hired?' I asked, taking the pants from him and watching in dismay as he reached back in to pull out a dress shirt and tie.

He gave me a disdainful little snort as if there was just no question, and began undoing the packaging on the shirt.

What the hell could I do? I got dressed.

Well, I guess it explained why it had taken him so long to come back to the apartment.

Heero had to help me with the tie, and I couldn't stop a heavy sigh as my own hands lifted to try to help, dropped to get out of the way, tried to stuff themselves into my pockets and finally ended up crossed in front of me.

Heero smiled gently at me. 'Not going to throw up, are you?'

'Gods... why am I so nervous?' I groused. 'This is ridiculous!'

'Uncharted territory?' he suggested as his fingers and his attention stayed on the tie.

'I guess,' I sighed. 'I didn't exactly have to fill out a resume for Dr. G.'

His eyes met mine for a second, with a penetrating intensity. Our respective... mentors were something that we just didn't talk about all that much. It was a sign how much I was thinking about the past, that that name had popped out of my mouth.

'Duo,' he said to me, his fingers leaving the knot and stroking down the length of the tie, as though straightening it. 'Do you want this job?'

I took a deep breath and thought about it for a minute. 'I think so,' I finally told him.

He gave me a funny little quirk of a grin. 'You think?' he prompted.

'Well,' I temporized. 'I really don't know all that much about it yet.'

He nodded. 'You aren't obligated,' he said firmly, his hands settling on my hips. He gave me a little squeeze for emphasis. 'Not for a damn second. If you don't like the sounds of it... you walk away.'

I frowned and nodded my understanding of the statement.

'Duo,' he warned and I had to sigh. He knows me too damn well.

'All right,' I agreed grudgingly and won a soft kiss.

He drew away and there was the spark of something in his eyes. 'You look... damn handsome,' he told me and reinforced the statement with another, less-soft, kiss.

Then it was time to go.

Heero splurged again and we called a cab. I couldn't believe how damn free he was suddenly being with the money. It was rather overwhelming to realize that he honestly had no doubts that by the end of the day, we would have no money problems what so ever. I tried to imagine having a steady income. Tried to imagine not having to save every scrap of aluminum foil to be used over and over. Wondered what it would be like to buy more fresh vegetables and less of the cheap, canned kind. That led me to thinking about a kitchen table with matching chairs. Enough matching chairs, in fact, that we could have all the guys over for dinner. I wanted more seating in the living room first though, and maybe that television that Wufei kept teasing us about not having. And something to play my music with. Gods... I wasn't sure where to start!

First though, we needed to pay back Quatre. I knew he'd fight us on that point, but it was something I wanted to do and I thought Heero felt the same way about it. I didn't like the idea of starting out on our own in someone else's dept. It would feel damn good to be standing on our own for the first time.

Of course, the down side was going to be all those lost mornings. No more lying around in bed together. No more lingering talks while the sun came up. Gods but I would miss that. Life was going to become very... regimented, and that was going to harken back to the only other part of my life that had ever run on a schedule. Training. Not some of my better memories. Though I suppose they were pretty damn far from the worst.

'Stop that; you're giving me a headache trying to keep up,' Heero said softly, mindful of the cab driver.

'What?' I muttered, and looked up at him, pulled out of my reverie.

'I think you've managed thirty-five mood changes in the last two minutes,' he chuckled at me softly. 'What are you thinking about so hard?'

I flushed until I'm sure I was a lovely shade of scarlet and ducked my head. 'Nothing really,' I told him. His hand lifted from the seat and for a moment I thought he would forget himself and reach out to me, but he didn't and I was a little sorry. He looked troubled and I had to sigh. 'Come on, Heero. You have to admit the irony of going in for a job interview with a woman who tried to have me executed is a little... bizarre.'

He snorted, a rather surprised little sound, and I don't think he'd meant to do it. 'She's... changed a lot.'

'Says Wufei,' I grumbled.

'He's right, she really isn't...' he hesitated and I looked up at him, wondering how he could be so damn sure of her. He blinked, seeming suddenly at a loss for words. 'I mean... think about it,' he suddenly blurted. 'She wouldn't have the damn job if she was still... like she was.'

'I suppose that's true,' I muttered and looked away again.

We were quiet for a bit, it was too hard to talk with some stranger sitting within arm's reach if one of us had leaned forward to bother. The guy didn't seem to be paying any attention, but you never knew. I was kind of glad that I hadn't eaten any breakfast to speak of; I really didn't feel all that great. Did I want to do this? I guess I had thought when we got the job offers, that the positions would be like Wufei's; field agents. I'd never really thought much about this kind of job. A desk job? Working inside, in the same office, all day? Granted, there'd be some physical labor involved with that kind of occupation, but... I'd just never thought about it before. What if I couldn't deal with that kind of tedium? What if it drove me crazy? But I didn't have a lot of choices, did I? If Une seriously offered me the position, I couldn't afford to turn it down.

A hand settled over mine where they rested in my lap and I realized that I was worrying at that scar on my palm. I stopped immediately and looked up at Heero guiltily.

'Sorry,' I sighed. 'I don't know why this is so... nerve-wracking for me.'

'It's all right,' he said softly, giving my hand a squeeze before withdrawing. 'I'm a little nervous myself.'

'You? Why?' I blurted and frowned over at him.

A grin spread slowly across his face. 'Well, I am applying for that janitorial position.'

I couldn't help the laugh that bubbled up, and some of the tension eased from my belly. I gave him a grateful smile. 'Well, if I get the job, maybe I can put in a good word for you,' I quipped, and he gave me that look. The one that makes me feel like his arm is around me even when he's clear across the room.

'It's perfectly normal to feel apprehensive about a new situation,' he reassured. 'This isn't exactly the sort of thing that was handled in training.'

I smirked at him. 'Wouldn't you have thought they could have squeezed in job interviewing between 'setting your own broken bones' and 'field stripping your weapon in the dark with your teeth'?'

'Maybe we just skipped class that day,' he said gently, like that was an actual possibility. Kind of hard to 'skip' when you're the only pupil taking the course. We didn't speak of the real reason none of these life's lessons had been taught; no one had expected us to ever need them.

'Thanks,' I murmured, and made a conscious effort to keep my hands away from each other, to make sure I didn't start that rubbing again.

'You're going to do fine,' he told me, and he made it easy to believe.

'You can say that because you don't have a ten o'clock appointment with the scary woman,' I told him in a melodramatically put-out tone and, oddly he didn't have an answer to that.

Then we were there and climbing out of the cab. Heero reached for his wallet, while I stood beside him and tried to take in all the details of the building we were standing in front of. It was... bigger than I had thought it would be, a massive four story brick and stone thing, with tinted windows so it was impossible to look up and see if Wufei was looking down from any of them. It was actually kind of disconcerting to realize that there could be somebody standing in each one of those windows staring down and I wouldn't have known it. Creepy. Made my soldier's instincts twitch.

My attention was drawn back to Heero and the cab driver when I heard the guy say, 'Put your money away, kid. I'm not taking it.'

'What?' Heero said, sounding confused. My first thought was to move in and get my partner away from yet another pissy Earth citizen, but then I realized the cab driver was grinning from ear to ear.

'Just consider it a little thanks,' he said and reached up to deliberately reset the meter. He pulled away before Heero could do much more than mutter a bewildered, 'Thank you.'

We looked at each other for a second and then Heero smiled at me. 'Looks like we can afford lunch after all.'

I didn't know whether to laugh at the joke, or worry about how we were going to eat until my first paycheck came in.

He turned and led me inside then, and I forgot all about the money issue.

There was a security guard at a front desk and my head was so far into scoping out the security that I almost missed it when he addressed Heero by name.

'Mr. Yuy,' he smiled, handing over a couple of already prepared visitor's badges. 'Commander Une is expecting you and Mr. Maxwell in her office.'

'Thank you,' Heero said, nodding curtly and taking the badges to sort mine from his. He handed me mine and easily clipped his own to the waistband of his pants. I pulled my eyes away from the monitors on the guard's desk long enough to smile at the man and then followed Heero to the elevator bank, fumbling with my badge as I went.

The elevator doors closed behind us, as Heero punched in for the fourth floor. Then he turned to me with a smile and reached out to straighten my tie. 'You look wonderful. You are wonderful. You are going to get this job. Commander Une is not nearly as scary as she used to be.'

I chuckled and shook my head. 'Thanks, Dad,' I grinned. 'And just what are you going to be doing while I'm sweating my ass off in scary Colonel Une's office?'

He laughed, his fingers leaving the tie to sweep up and brush a lock of my hair into place. 'I'll go and sit in Wufei's office until you're done. He's down on three. And stop calling her 'scary' before you slip and call her that to her face.'

I was just getting ready to retort to that, when the elevator doors swept open and we were staring at an imposing woman sitting behind a receptionist's desk. 'Good morning, Mr. Yuy,' she said, smiling and standing up. I cringed; the woman was going to tower over us. 'This must be Mr. Maxwell?'

Heero was holding the elevator door open with one hand and he gestured me out. 'Morning, Pat,' he smiled. 'Yes, this is Duo. Will you direct him to Agent Chang's office when the Commander is done with him?'

'Certainly,' she said and came around the desk to shake my hand.

'Good luck,' Heero murmured to me, and then the doors slid shut and he was gone.

It took me a heartbeat to take the woman's hand and respond to her well-mannered greeting. I'm not sure if it was the intimidation factor of finding myself nose to... breastbone, with the tall blond, or the sudden realization that Heero had been here before. This woman had known him, and not just by reputation.

She said something about the weather, and began leading me down a hall. My mouth, on autopilot, was replying with something witty and I followed where she led. But I couldn't help wondering.

Commander 'not-scary' Une is not near as tall as her secretary, thank God, but she's still an intimidating presence. I was somewhat surprised, and relieved, to find her wearing a tailored business suit and not a uniform. I have no idea why I was expecting a uniform. I guess I'd never seen her in anything else, except on the propaganda vid-feeds during the war.

Pat handed me deftly into the good Commander's care, offered coffee or tea and then saw herself out when I declined.

'It was good of you to come in, Mr. Maxwell,' Une said, and despite my fervent wishes otherwise, she came around her massive desk to shake my hand.

I didn't let my nervousness show on my face, giving her one of my more beguiling smiles and took the offered hand without reservation. 'Good of you to see me, Commander, and please... call me Duo.'

She gestured me to a seat but then leaned herself against the corner of her desk, right in front of me, rather than returning to her own side of the damn massive piece of furniture. I almost shivered, lost in memory, remembering the woman standing over me once before, those cold brown eyes locked with mine as she backhanded me hard enough to make my skull bounce off the damn wall. I resisted the urge to reach up and rub the back of my head, and wished I hadn't sat down. I wondered if she'd done that on purpose; assumed that stance. It was kind of funny, really; with her hair down, and in that business suit, she hardly seemed like the same woman. The eyes weren't near as cold and hard, but I could still see scary Lady Une peeking back at me.

I ran my Heero inspired mantra through my head a couple of times and prepared to deal with the woman.

And she certainly couldn't have me thrown into the brig, that was a bonus. Nor command her lackeys to beat the living crap out of me... again.

'Duo then,' she said, and gave me a tight little smile. 'Or perhaps I should call you Oh-two?'

She was looking at me in a rather calculating way and so I just grinned, leaning back in the chair and getting comfortable. 'I've been known to answer to a variety of things over the years,' I drawled. 'It's your call.'

She smiled and straightened almost nonchalantly from where she had almost been perched, returning to her side of the desk. I felt like the exchange had been some kind of test, and I wasn't sure I'd passed.

I waited for her to retake her seat; the ball was on her side of the net after all.

She shifted some papers around, but I had the vague impression they were just props and camouflage. 'Agent Chang has given you quite the recommendation, Duo,' she told me and I tried to keep the faint, pleased flush from rising too much.

'I'll have to thank him,' I said softly. 'Though, I have to admit, I didn't know about this position being available until last night.'

She raised an elegant eyebrow. 'Well the Preventers organization did offer each of the five of you positions as soon as the peace treaties were signed and sealed.'

'True,' I nodded, expressing my appreciation of that fact. 'But I don't recall that... specific jobs were presented. I confess that I assumed the offers were for field agent positions.'

Those graceful eyebrows drew ever so slightly together, and I was somewhat surprised to realize that she was picking carefully over wording. 'Is that... what you had in mind?' she finally asked.

'Not necessarily,' I assured her, wishing I knew what was going on inside her head. 'I was just... surprised.'

She nodded and glanced down to shift papers again. 'But you're interested?'

I smiled and leaned forward, bracing my elbows across my knees. 'Well, I suppose that depends,' I said. 'Wufei really couldn't tell me all that much about the position, other than the fact that the previous man... didn't work out.'

The corner of her mouth twitched ever so slightly, and I suspected that 'didn't work out' was a gross understatement. 'His background was from a slightly more... relaxed environment,' was all she would say.

I flashed one of my patented smiles. 'Well... I hope you aren't expecting a long list of references from previous employers.'

It won a sudden, surprised laugh from her, which she quickly suppressed. 'I think I have enough first hand knowledge of your qualifications that I can waive the reference list,' she told me with a slight inclination of her head.

I returned the gesture, and couldn't hide a tiny little smirk. Yes, Lady, I hacked your damn systems more times than either of us can count. 'So what, exactly, is my mission here?' I asked, using old phrasing just to make my other, unspoken, point.

She smiled a smile that was more soldier than lady and I knew she was acknowledging my victories on the playing field we were discussing. 'Exactly?' she queried. 'I need you to make sure that other people like you stay the hell out of my network,' she said bluntly. 'You will be completely responsible for the intranet within this building. E-mail. File servers. Security. Access to the Internet. At some point in the future you may be responsible for satellite offices if this organization grows the way I hope it does.' There was a flash in her eyes of something... hard, and a little intense. I caught a glimpse of Colonel Une sitting across from me and wondered that I wasn't moved to recoil from the sight.

I'm not at all sure what demons drove this woman, and she was very obviously driven, but there was something about her that was... tempered. Wufei had been right; not quite the scary Colonel Une from the war. Though I think she could still be scary as hell if she really set her mind to it.

'Does total responsibility come with total control?' I asked, warming to this idea just a little bit.

'We do have a budget,' she admitted. 'And you will have to adhere to it. Otherwise, I'm hiring you for your expertise and I will damn well listen to your advice.'

I nodded, mulling that one over and when I didn't speak immediately, she interjected almost softly. 'Your... background suggests that you won't be frivolous with my money.'

Our gazes locked for a second and I felt kind of cold way down in my gut. Maybe I had been wrong, maybe those papers on her desk weren't just camouflage. I wondered just how much she knew about my... background. It felt like another damn test.

'I'm never frivolous,' I informed her, doing my best not to let that cold creep up from my gut into my voice. 'But the war is over and I won't try to do this job with bubblegum and Band-Aids.'

I heard the acceptance in my voice at the same moment she did, and she grinned at me, standing to extend her hand to me. 'Welcome to Preventers, Duo Maxwell,' she said, and there was a certain amount of self-satisfaction in her voice.

I sighed, my brain not at all sure that the rest of me had just made the right choice, but stood and took her hand anyway. What the hell; I guess I could always quit later. 'Thank you, Colonel,' I smiled and watched the corner of her mouth quirk again.

'It's been a pleasure talking with you Oh-two,' she fairly purred, and I thought she would give me that full-fledged grin again, but she didn't. A button was pressed on her desk-phone and the intimidating secretary reappeared. 'Pat will show you down to the Human Resources department. I look forward to working with you.'

It was a dismissal if I'd ever heard one, and I gave her the polite and appropriate response before following Amazon-secretary out of the office.

Fuck. I was employed.

Pat did indeed deliver me to the afore-mentioned Human Resources department down on two, where a woman named Shirley proceeded to run me through a paper work gauntlet for the next hour. I wondered a couple of times what Heero was doing and if Wufei was annoyed yet about having him camped in his office all day, but there was just no escaping the clutches of the 'fill it out in triplicate' woman.

I signed insurance forms and filled out emergency contact paper work. Was delivered to an office nurse who made me pee in a cup and took a blood sample. Was issued a stack of polo shirts with the Preventers logo over the left breast. My brain was starting to atrophy before I thought I saw the light at the end of the tunnel. I had been reduced to just nodding at the bustling clerk and had to quash the desire to cheer out loud when she finally said, 'Almost done, Mr. Maxwell, just let me pop over to Security and see if they have your permanent badge and pass card ready.'

I heaved a heart-felt sigh of relief and found myself just sitting in the chair in front of the woman's desk, massaging my cramped writing hand and staring. Damn. What the devil had I gotten myself into? I sure as Hell hoped this shit wasn't indicative of what the job was going to be like, or I'd be a screaming wreck within a week.

Looking for something to distract myself from my growing sense of impending death-by-tedium, I stood to look at the pictures on Shirley's desk. I had to grin at the trio of little pink-cheeked kids in the photographs, probably grandchildren judging from the woman's apparent age. If I looked real hard, I could see the family resemblance.

And that was when I saw the folder on top of the woman's in-basket with 'Yuy, Heero' typed neatly on the tab. I blinked at it for a whole sixty seconds. Then I strolled casually over to the door, glanced up and down the hall to make sure that Shirley was nowhere in sight and went back to open the thing up.

Don't give me that look. Tell me you wouldn't have, in my position.

The folder was full of copies of all the paperwork that I was more than familiar with from just having filled mine out. Heero's insurance and tax forms. His emergency contact information. It was all there. Heero was also employed by the Preventers... as of sometime that very morning. I dug a little deeper into the folder. Employed as a field agent. Not exactly the janitorial position we'd joked about with Wufei.

I carefully put the folder back where I had found it and sat gingerly down in my chair.

I can't tell you what I felt, because I'm not really sure. Just confused, I guess, I'm just... not sure. I still didn't have it all sorted out by the time Shirley came back with the last of my new acquisitions. 'Here we go, Mr. Maxwell,' she beamed at me, taking my visitors badge from me and replacing it with my employee one before I had a chance to blink. 'You have a full level-one clearance and can go anywhere in the building you need to, and here's your pass card. That will get you into the building after hours and into the computer room in the basement.'

'Computer room?' I echoed, latching onto something familiar in the tide of chaos. 'Would it be possible to tour that?'

'Certainly!' she smiled at me. 'You can go anywhere you need to with that badge. Just go back to the elevator bank and go down to the basement level. There's nothing else down there but the furnace room. You can't miss it.'

I gathered my things and prepared to leave the room, still feeling shell-shocked and off balance, but she stopped me one last time. 'Oh my, before I forget again... here's your sign-on bonus check. You're scheduled to start tomorrow morning.'

I think I stared at her. Tomorrow morning? Basement? Bonus check?

She gave me the most beatific, mothering smile and patted my arm. 'You're going to do just fine, sweetie.'

It was another dismissal, so I took my ass out of there and headed for the elevator bank. If I was right, the computer room would be completely empty since the former Administrator was no longer among the employed. I really, really needed a few minutes to myself and I just didn't know where else to get it. I was in the elevator before I happened to glance down at the check still clutched in my hand. I'm a little ashamed to admit that I blurted, 'Shit!' right out loud to no one at all, when I finally registered the four-digit number on the damn thing. I hastily folded it up and stuffed it in my pocket, juggling and almost dropping my bundle of plastic wrapped shirts.

The elevator doors opened and I stepped out into a... basement. Tile floor, cinder block walls, obviously not a window in sight; it could not have been anything else. I also came face to face with the most gorgeous damn soda machine it has ever been my privilege to meet. I went straight to it and bought a can of ice-cold Mt. Dew and downed half of it before I bothered to look any further. Damn, what a day.

There was a set of double doors off to my left that were clearly labeled 'furnace room' and an office type door to the right. I tried my new pass card in the card reader next to the door and was gratified to hear it click open.

I stepped for the first time into a room that would become both the bane of my existence and my greatest sanctuary, though I hardly cared at the time. I was just eternally grateful that the damn room was indeed unoccupied. I went in, dumped my load of shirts and paper work on the first desk I came to, and sighing gustily, threw myself down in the chair next to that desk.

My partner was a Preventers agent.

I had to think about that for a long damn time.

Ok, the obvious first point was the simple fact that Heero would not have just done that on the spur of the moment because he 'happened to be in the neighborhood'. He had known he was going to take a job here when we had left the house this morning. Hell... he'd probably know before that.

When I thought about it, it certainly explained a few things about our dinner conversation with Wufei last night. Those weird looks they were exchanging. The strange hesitations and sudden changes of subject. Damn, but that rankled; that Heero had obviously confided in Wufei a secret that he had kept from me.

The more I thought, the more I realized what a dumb fuck I'd been. How could I have missed all those clues? Heero hadn't had to ask anyone for directions through the building. Heero had known right where Wufei's office was. The guard at the front desk had known him. Commander Une's secretary had known him. Gods, but I felt stupid.

But... why?

I flung myself to my feet and stalked around the room, looking without half seeing, wondering if someone would come and contest my right to be here. Strictly speaking, I didn't start work until the next day, so I suppose I didn't really have any business being in that room. But I just didn't know where else to go.

The last guy might not have been security conscious enough, but he'd been a stickler for labeling, and I found the half a dozen servers clearly tagged with all the pertinent information. Including the administrator passwords. Dear Gods... the man had been a security nightmare! I found myself intrigued despite my irritation, or maybe I was just looking for a distraction, and began to poke around to see just what I had here to work with. It was a fairly typical little network, Windows based, with the standard DNS server, file server and mail server. There was a firewall, which eased my mind a bit, but then I found that all the damn things were at least four months out of date on the critical system updates. It probably wouldn't have mattered if I let it go until the morning, but the lapse just nagged at me and without really thinking about it, I began updating. While I was waiting, watching the little blue status bars run, I noticed the server labeled 'Security'. Curious, I punched the KVM switch to that address and was rather surprised to find that I had a direct link to the PC at the guard station at the front desk. It took me a couple of minutes to figure out that the system upstairs was actually downloading the video stream to the server, making a backup. Someone had left the monitor software running.

So I entertained myself for a few minutes, watching the surveillance video from the four security cameras. One view actually showed the lobby and I was surprised to see Heero and Wufei wander into view. Without really thinking about it, I toggled through the split screen video display and pulled their portion into full screen. There was no audio, but they were walking toward the camera, which seemed to be mounted above the elevator bank.

I read lips.

I saw Wufei address the guard at the desk, his back to the camera for a second and the guard shook his head, saying, 'No, Agent Chang, he's still in the building. He hasn't come back through the lobby.'

Wufei turned back to Heero.

'Where in the world do you think he's gone?' I saw Heero say, and could make out the slight furrowing on his brow even on the monitor.

Wufei said something, but movement obscured part of it. '...Shirley in HR did mention...'

They turned and began walking toward the elevator bank again.

'Heero,' Wufei said, facing the camera dead on. 'I'm... not sure I'm entirely comfortable with this... deception.'

Heero frowned as they stopped in front of the elevators, Wufei reaching to punch the call button. 'I know,' I watched Heero say. 'He's going to be... not very happy if he figures this out. I just... I want him out of danger, Wufei... that's all.'

Wufei gave Heero a rather penetrating look and a small smile tried to creep onto his face. I saw Heero reach to impatiently push the elevator call button again. 'Isn't that just a bit... hypocritical?'

Heero glared at him, his eyes glittering strangely in the black and white video feed. 'I fucking suppose it is, but I don't give a damn. I've come so close to losing him so damn many times... I... I just...' His lips snapped shut on the rest of it and I imagined he was blushing mightily.

Wufei touched his arm and started to speak, but then the elevator finally came and they were gone from camera range.

Well.

Well fuck.

How do you seriously stay mad when your lover says something like that? I'll be honest; I tried to... but I couldn't. Not really.

Irritated, I suppose. A little hurt. But I couldn't really maintain any full-blown anger.

You want to know the truth? I'm not positive I would have taken an agent's job to begin with. When the war had been over, it had been somewhat... difficult for me to let go of the soldier. I still hadn't done it entirely, and maybe I never would. I just looked at things differently than your average John Q. Public. I had trouble sitting with my back to doors. I instinctively made a mental map of all the exits whenever I went into a new building. Things like the security set-up upstairs at the front desk just naturally drew my full attention. But I was letting go, a little bit, and I'm not at all sure I would have wanted to... shoulder back into that armor. Wasn't sure I wanted to pick up the sword again.

But it would have been nice to have been allowed to make that decision. It would have been nice to have had all the cards on the table and at least had a chance to play the damn game. I didn't like being manipulated. I didn't like being made into the fool. I didn't like being coddled and lied to.

Sitting there in the chill air of a room that would become my second home, I suddenly wondered just how many people had been in on this little charade. What had Heero done, bargained for my... safety? 'I'll agree to join, if you see to it Duo has a nice, safe desk job'? Is that how it had gone? Obviously Wufei had known... had actively participated. Une had to know, there was just no other explanation for her actions. Had Amazon-woman been a part of the game? The security guard? Shirley in HR? I felt a little bit like a laughing stock. Did I even have this job for my own skills? Or had Heero bargained for more than my protection? 'You want to hire me, you have to hire Duo too'?

I felt... a little ill.

Somewhere inside, I wanted to be angry. I wanted to march out there and find them, deck them both, storm upstairs to tell Shirley not to bother filing the damn paper work, and quit. I didn't need a fucking job that had been negotiated for me behind my back. That anger boiled around in my gut so suddenly that I quivered with it. It was in me to walk out that door, run off and join the damn Sweepers. I had no doubt Howard would take me in.

But the anger wouldn't stay. Hard as I tried to cling to it, it gave way to a strange melancholy that I was becoming more than familiar with. There really just wasn't any point in fighting this. I can't say that I cared for Heero's methods, but I suppose the results weren't all that bad. Mostly. The part where my partner was now a Preventers agent didn't overly thrill me.

If I took a deep breath and was totally honest with myself, I have to own up to the fact that we would very likely have ended up right where we were even if Heero had been up-front with me from the beginning.

Much as I hated to admit it, I suppose I'd known somewhere deep down in my heart that Heero was meant for this kind of job. If he hadn't signed on with the Preventers, he would more than likely have gone into law-enforcement in one form or another. Maybe a cop. Maybe a fireman. I don't know... but there really wasn't much doubt that he'd have never settled for that job at the zoo, no matter the pretty words.

And as much as I hated to admit it, I'm not positive that kind of life appealed to me. I would very probably have opted for the Administrator's job even if I had been offered both positions. I have to confess that the idea of strapping on a gun again was just a little bit... unattractive.

And I'm not a total moron; I understood the whole deal with Wufei and the cryptic comments about a steady partner now. He had meant for Heero to be that partner all along.

So; to summarize. If I kept my mouth shut and just went with the flow, everybody was happy. Wufei got his partner. Une got Heero. Heero got the job he wanted, with me safely tucked away in the basement. Quatre was lightened a couple of freeloaders, and Heero and I were self-sufficient.

And if I decided to get pissy about it? If I really did storm out of the damn building and ran back to Daddy-Howard? I couldn't leave Heero. Not for good. Sooner try to give up breathing. He might irritate the shit out of me sometimes, but I couldn't live without him, and I damn well knew that. So I'd just put Howard in the middle of a family dispute, would give Wufei a guilt complex the size of Texas, and cause Shirley a lot of extra paperwork.

Hardly seemed worth all that, just over the principal of the thing.

So by the time Heero and Wufei found their way to my server room, I was perched on a stool at the back wall, nursing the dregs of my can of soda, finishing up the critical updates and resetting all the passwords.

This was a done deal. No matter how I had gotten here, I was the Network Administrator for the Preventers. I would not do a bad job of it.

Wufei must have high enough security clearance, because his pass card got them into my room and I heard a tentative, 'Duo?' right after I heard the door open.

I had opted not to be pissy about it.

'Back here,' I called cheerfully. 'Welcome to the inner sanctum of the Network geek!'

'Maxwell,' Wufei chuckled at me. 'I don't think you were supposed to actually start work until tomorrow.'

'I came down for the tour and couldn't walk away from the train wreck,' I grinned back at them as they came to stand beside me. I waved my hand expansively at my row of systems and watched with delight as their eyes flew wide.

'Are those... the actual administrator passwords?' Wufei asked, voice incredulous.

'Yep,' I confirmed, and bent back to work.

They watched for a minute, before Heero ventured, 'we were thinking of going out to lunch. We've been looking all over for you.'

'Sorry guys,' I told them airily. 'But I'd just as soon look this mess over before tomorrow. There's more security holes here than your average piece of Swiss cheese.'

'Duo...' Heero began, brow furrowed in consternation and I laughed at him.

'Get used to it, Heero,' I grinned at him unrepentantly. 'You're rooming with a tech geek now... if I'm going to do this damn job; I'm going to do it right.' There might have been a teeny, tiny bit of bitterness in there. I truly had not meant for there to be, and I swallowed the last of my can of soda in an effort to cover it.

Wufei seemed to suddenly just drift away. I honestly think he knew somehow, that I was well aware of what they had done. To this day, I don't know. I'll never ask him. I just don't want to have that conversation. But he gave us the space.

'Duo?' Heero said softly, reaching to rest a hand on my shoulder. 'What's wrong?'

I tilted my head up in open invitation, and I saw his eyes flick in Wufei' direction. I knew he wouldn't deny me... but I also knew he wasn't comfortable with it. If his furtive glance hadn't told me... the blush would have. But he kissed me all the same.

'I love you,' I told him, smiling gently. 'But the next time you want me to do something... just tell me.'

Damn. I had not meant to reprimand him. I had not meant to bring it up at all. I had fully intended to let the sleeping dog have his damn nap.

He flushed so dark, for a minute I thought I should leap up from the stool and make him sit down. He opened his mouth to speak and then shut it again. His jaw worked and his eyes filled with a guilty kind of pain.

'Take Wufei and go to lunch,' I told him gently, reaching a hand up to brush over his cheek. 'Then go on home. I'll see you later tonight.'

His eyes widened and he reached to catch at my hand. 'Duo...' he sighed, but I really just didn't want to discuss it right then.

I squeezed his fingers. 'Go on,' I urged. 'I just... want to be by myself for a little while.'

That pain that I had seen, in the backs of his eyes, flared brighter, and his fingers clenched tight. 'Please Duo... I'm sorry,' he whispered.

'Don't,' I said, voice steady and calm. 'I think I understand, but I just want to be alone right now.'

I took my hand back, turning my attention to the monitor in front of me. He hesitated for a long time, standing close enough behind me that I could feel his body heat. 'I do love you,' he said softly. 'Maybe... a little too much sometimes.' Then he went to collect Wufei and they were gone.

I didn't know whether to laugh or to cry or to run the hell after them.

You want to know the really oddly funny thing? I think I was hurt as much by Wufei's part in things as Heero's.

I think of Chang Wufei as my best friend. He is probably second in my heart only to Heero. Why hadn't I been considered as a candidate for the position of his permanent partner? Why Heero instead of me? That stung as much as any of the rest of it.

Is that weird? That I have almost come to accept Heero's over-protective nature? That these things don't really shock me all that much anymore? I'm not saying I like it. I'm not saying I condone it. It's just that... it's a part of Heero, and I've almost come to expect it. Like fruit in the fruit bowl. I don't really understand it, I think I've done or said something at some point, because it very definitely has something to do with me. But I don't care how close we are on the week's budget; I can always count on Heero finding a way to make sure there's fresh fruit in the apartment.

When we walked down the street, he always walked on the curbside. Whenever we had roomed together during the war, he had always taken the bed closest to the door. It's just the way he is. Sometimes it seemed endearing and just melted me where I stood. Other times it was damned annoying and just pissed me off no end.

I was kind of on the fence about this one. I could almost hear Heero's voice from that video feed, 'I've come so close to losing him so damn many times... I just want him out of danger.' It did make me feel... strangely cherished. Oddly warmed. Or was that warmed with anger?

I didn't think so. Maybe. Ok... a little bit.

The whole thing made me feel... inept. Which was stupid, because I knew the motivation behind it as well as I knew the back of my own hand. Heero Yuy is the most over-protective, anal-retentive human being on the face of the planet. He protects what is important to him with a single-mindedness that can be overwhelming as hell. I am important to him. So that part always leaves me with this almost breathless quivery feeling in the pit of my stomach. But I just couldn't help but feel like their conspiring to keep me out of fieldwork somehow reflected their opinion of my abilities. Made me feel like... like the damn baby brother toddling along after his adored, indulgent older siblings.

All right... not anger, so much as hurt.

Yeah, it's petty. Sue me; I can't help how I feel.

But this little mental train track I was on was just going around and around in circles. There really wasn't much point in sitting on my ass all day in a cold room on a hard stool, stewing about my partner's tendencies to treat me like a fragile family heirloom. Worrying at a thing that was already resolved, like a dog trying to eke something out of a hundred year old bone.

So I gave myself over to learning my room. Staking my claim. Patching what holes I could and making lists of things I needed to talk to Une about. That looping train track really just came back around to one thing; it was a done deal and I had a job to do. I just needed to get the hell over it.

When I finally felt I could seriously do no more, I signed off all the consoles, and went to check out the other, office, side of the room. I had one of those cheap, metal office desks and there were still some generic supplies in it. The PC sitting on it was something of a crap box and I wondered what the previous guy had done... supply the building from one of those second-hand, refurb places? I made a mental note to bring my laptop from home; no way was I fighting with a dog slow system all day. I also, obviously, needed to take an inventory of the building to see just what I had on my network. That made me wonder what files I had been left by my predecessor and I opened up a couple of desk drawers. I had enough paper and pens to stock a small department, an old cracked coffee cup that I chucked into the trashcan under the desk, and a single file folder labeled 'meeting notes' that proved to be full of terse little notations from every meeting the guy had ever had with Lady Une. Looked to be about three of them. It was good information to have... Commander Une gave you three strikes before she threw you out on your ass. I vowed to not even get that first one.

I was gratified to find more than that on the PC. The guy had been a real stickler for documentation and I found electronic copies of all the invoices for everything that had been purchased on the man's watch. I was pretty sure the poor sap had come away from his talks with Une having heard only one thing; budget. I had a lot of evaluation to do... upgrade or start over? Gods, what a mess.

I finally decided it was time to quit when I realized just how chilled I had gotten and my back started to ache from sitting still for so long. It crossed my mind that I was going to have to start running with Heero in the morning if I didn't want this job to turn me into a desk chair potato.

I had also been pleased to find a neatly folded up grocery sack in the bottom drawer, Gods only knew what the last guy had hauled to work in it, but it was mine now, and I used it to dump my new shirts and paperwork into.

When I got upstairs, the lobby was empty except for the security guard and he gave me a slightly puzzled smile. 'Thought you didn't start until tomorrow, Mr. Maxwell?'

I flashed him a grin and went to lean against his desk. 'Guess I was just a little... surprised at the... uhmmm... state of things, and couldn't quite keep my hands off of it,' I said, unsure of the wording. It's never a good idea to bash somebody verbally before you found out how the person you're talking to felt about them. The last guy might have been inept, but that didn't preclude his being well liked.

But the guard, whose nametag read Dent, only grinned at me and rolled his eyes. 'State of things?' he smirked. 'That was very diplomatically put.'

It surprised a bark of laughter from me and the guy chuckled right along with me. 'Well... it needs some work,' I ventured.

When I finally left the building, I was on a first name basis with Lester and had gotten a long list of his personal system complaints. Oh yeah... I had bitten off a pretty large chunk of something, here, and only hoped I didn't choke to death on it.

The substantial bonus check burning a hole in my pocket not withstanding, I opted to skip the more expensive cab and take the bus. Just because we had money now, didn't mean we could go nuts and not watch our spending. Besides, this bus thing was going to get old fast and we should probably start thinking about saving for a car.

I settled in a seat near the front and reflected that Heero would probably have a cow if he knew I'd done this. I'm sure he had expected me to call a cab, or he'd have never walked out and left me to get home alone. And I had to admit, sitting there in a bus full of strangers without my wingman to watch my back was making me twitchy, but damn it... I didn't mean to go hide in the apartment for the rest of my life. Letting the handful of fruitcakes out there drive me into seclusion was the same as letting them win, as far as I was concerned. I'd bought this peace with my blood... screw them if I wasn't going to get to enjoy it.

At the next stop, a mother and daughter got on, the mother juggling several packages, a purse and a bundle of flowers, and took the seat directly across the aisle from me. I could see the kid sneaking decidedly unfurtive furtive glances at me. I gave her a little smile and then just tried not to notice her. You have to be damn careful about kids, when half the world views you as a terrorist. People can get darn hackles-up pissy if they think their kids are in danger. I just entertained myself staring out my window and trying to be unobtrusive. It got harder when the mother and daughter started talking in low tones and I heard the word 'Gundam'. I almost got the hell off the bus the next time it stopped, but then didn't. They were keeping their voices down and it had been my experience that people with kids in tow were not generally the first ones to get in your face about your supposed war crimes.

Still, I was a little edgy by the time I was within a couple stops of my own, and jumped like I'd been shot when the kid suddenly came darting across the bus to scramble onto the seat beside me. I'm sure I looked like a total moron, with my mouth hanging open and my eyes wide as saucers. To compound my consternation, I found my hand on my forearm, reaching for a weapon that wasn't there, and my face flushed red as a beet the minute I realized that I had just tried to pull a knife on a little kid.

'You're Duo Maxwell, aren't you?' the kid blurted and I found my head nodding of its own accord. She grinned wide enough to split her face and stuck a little handful of flowers out to me. 'My Mom said I'm s'pposed to say thank you.'

I tore my gaze away from the handful of lilies to look across the aisle. The mother was carefully rewrapping their bundle of flowers, having pulled the green paper off to get the lilies out. She was smiling gently; her face pinked, but didn't look up at me.

'You... you're welcome,' I managed, looking back down at the grinning, upturned face.

'Did you really fly a Gundam?' she whispered and I think she was venturing from the script that Mom had given her.

'Yeah,' I confessed, clutching my flowers in my hand.

Then she gave me one of those weird, 'I'm gonna break your neck if it's the last thing I do' little kid hugs. I had to close my eyes to get the damn lump swallowed out of my throat.

'Thank you,' I managed, when she let go. 'For the flowers.'

'You're very welcome,' she intoned solemnly, and it sounded like something she'd heard somebody else say. Then she grinned again and flitted back to the other side of the bus.

I almost missed my damn stop. I couldn't help waving as it pulled away.

It's a two block walk from the bus stop to the apartment and I kind of made it in a daze, grocery sack dangling from one hand, flowers in the other. It had been something of an up and down kind of day.

I saw Mr. Roberts out in front of his apartment and waved. He gave me an odd, up and down look and I realized how I was dressed.

'You get yourself a job, kid?' he hollered across the parking lot.

I grinned and nodded. 'Just started today.' He flashed me a thumbs up sign, but I swear I saw a hint of disappointment on his face. 'Guess I'll be getting my mail in the evenings after work now.' I called and watched him grin and nod.

The climb up the stairs seemed twice as long as usual and a little bit of the warm fuzzy feeling the encounter with the little girl had given me was fading by the time I got to the top. I unlocked the door and slipped inside, taking a deep breath and trying to hang on to that somewhat calm place I'd found while working.

'Honey!' I quipped. 'I'm home!'

Heero appeared in the kitchen doorway looking just a tiny bit like a whipped dog, but I couldn't really find it in me to feel overly sorry for him. He'd done it to himself, if you asked me.

I dumped the sack of shirts on the end of the couch and headed for the kitchen, registering the smell of dinner cooking. I dropped a small kiss on Heero's cheek as I moved by him. 'Smells good,' I murmured and went to get a water glass down to put my flowers in. The stems were a little bent from the grip I'd had on them, and I took a second to do what I could with them before setting the glass in the middle of the table. They looked kind of pathetic sitting there in a container twice the size it should have been, but cheery all the same.

'Do I have time to change?' I asked, and turned back to the doorway.

'I didn't know when... I...' Heero began, off balance as all hell. 'Yeah... you do,' he finally blurted.

'Great!' I beamed and slipped by him again to head for the bedroom. I took my sack of shirts and dropped them on the bed. I really needed to get them out of their packages and hung up. I wondered if I should wash them before using them.

I loosened the tie, considered leaving it knotted and just slipping in on over my head the next time I had to wear it, but decided that was probably a bad idea. Heero would help me with it again if I needed it.

I moved to go lay the thing on the dresser and found Heero's new badge and gun resting there next to my CDs, his security pass next to them. I carefully placed the folded tie off to the side and looked at the strange still life it all made, while I unbuttoned my shirt.

My music. Heero's gun. One of my hair wraps. Heero's badge. The tie we would probably share. All almost artfully arranged against the backdrop of the little, crocheted doily. I let the shirt fall to the floor in the designated 'laundry' spot and found my fingers picking up that badge. I shivered, feeling the cold metal of it under my fingers. Damn... he had a badge already? They issued him a gun on the first morning? I shivered again, thinking about Heero sitting in Shirley's office, filling out paperwork. They had issued me polo shirts. They'd issued him weapons. That said something, didn't it? I just wasn't sure what.

I fished my own building security pass out of my pants pocket, where I'd stuffed it when I left the Preventers building, and carefully placed it next to Heero's, aligning the edges and turning the clips so they lay in the same direction. That reminded me of the bonus check and I pulled it out too, adding it to my artistic little pile.

Your whole world can change on an indrawn breath, you know that? I certainly knew that; I'd been through enough changes in my life. Wonder why they always hit me like this? When it happens... as it happens, you don't even realize. But there's always a moment later on, when the smoke clears and it's way too late, when you suddenly realize that things will never be the same again. There's never any road signs to tell you if this is a good thing or a bad thing, there's just this crystal clear moment where your brain catches up and says 'holy fuck!'.

I shivered again, staring at that shiny new badge and wondered where this road would lead us.

I jumped when warm hands settled on my shoulders. 'Duo... love,' Heero said softly, his breath stirring the wisps of hair on the back of my neck. 'You told me it was all right for me to need,' he hesitated, even though this had the faint sound of something he had worked out in his head before he spoke. 'I know I don't... have the right to ask right now, but I really need to know that you don't hate me.'

I snorted softly and tilted my face down to rub my cheek gently across his fingers. 'Hate you why?' I asked gently. 'Because you're an insensitive, over-protective asshole, or because you got a cool badge and I didn't?'

There was a funny little sound, kind of a hitch of breath, and then he was turning me around to envelope me in a tight embrace. 'Oh Gods, Duo... I thought you would never get here,' he whispered into my hair and his voice was... not steady.

'I'll always come home to you,' I chided. 'You know that.'

His arms tightened almost painfully and I worked my own arms up around his neck, holding on tight. This? This was worth putting up with all the rest of it. This was home, with all our attendant baggage, all our flaws and all our uncertainties... this would always be home.

'I am so very sorry...' he began, a hand stroking soothingly up and down my bare back.

'Hush,' I stopped him, placing a little kiss on the side of his throat. 'I spent all afternoon getting past this. I don't want to talk about it any more.'

He stiffened in my arms, his hand stopping its movement. 'But Duo...'

'No buts,' I said firmly. 'It's all done and over with. This is a new road and it's too late... we're already on it. We'll just have to see where it takes us.'

'I love you,' he blurted, voice low and almost husky. 'So damn much. I just want to protect you... I need you safe.'

I sighed and didn't even launch into the ages old argument about how I could take care of myself. About how I was a big boy. He has issues with losing what he loves, every bit as much as I do. His just manifest themselves in a slightly more... aggressive way. There was just no point in having this conversation again.

So I just whispered in his ear, soft and low, 'heart and soul... you jerk.'

I thought, for a surreal moment, that he was going to cry with relief. Then I thought he was going to lift me clear off my feet. But then the timer in the kitchen began to beep plaintively and he fled the room. I finished changing clothes.

I joined him in the kitchen and we moved around each other in a practiced dance, setting out dishes, stirring things on the stove, pouring drinks, serving up our dinner. We did it in relative quiet, though it wasn't a completely uncomfortable silence.

He'd made Trowa's chicken and shrimp Jambalaya, something I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt we hadn't had the ingredients for. Shrimp was something we hadn't even thought about buying since we'd been out on our own, it's too damn expensive, but I'd developed a bit of a taste for it while living with Quatre. I realized that the dinner was a small little apology, and it kept me from reprimanding him for spending the money. For the obvious trip to the market alone.

'It's very good,' I ventured softly, after a few bites, accepting the gift.

'Thank you,' he responded quietly, his eyes on his plate. 'The flowers are... nice. Where'd you get them?'

I grinned, swallowing another forkful of dinner, determined to enjoy it. It truly was a rare treat and it would be a shame to spoil it with bitterness over the day. 'Would you believe a little girl on the bus gave them to me?' I told him without much thought. 'She says thanks for saving the planet, by the way.'

I had been delighted with his attempt to make conversation. Safe conversation. And I had meant the comment to be funny, but I saw my mistake when he went still as a stone and finally looked up from his plate. 'You... took the bus all the way from downtown by yourself?' he asked, his voice deceptively quiet.

I got... angry. All my work of the afternoon to put it all aside and just move on, blew right out the window in a lurching heartbeat. 'Yeah, damn it!' I snapped. 'Just like you went to the fucking grocery alone! What the hell makes you such Gods damned hot-shit that it's all right for you, but it's not for me? Who the hell died and made you my keeper?'

Well... so much for not spoiling dinner.

He looked a little shell-shocked. He looked a little chagrined. He looked like he wanted to argue. But my mouth had opened and I couldn't seem to get it stopped. I slapped my fork down on the table and just said fuck calm. 'This stinking double standard shit of yours has got to stop, Heero!' I growled. 'You expect me to duck and cover like a good little boy, while you go right ahead and do whatever the hell you want!'

'I'm just trying to keep you from getting hurt,' he grumbled, voice bordering on petulant.

'Why?' I asked and he blinked at me.

'What?' he said, confused and showing it.

'Why are you trying to keep me from getting hurt?' I pressed, glaring across the table at him.

He got a kind of fire in his eyes, and met my gaze head on. 'Because I love you. Because I swore I would keep you safe.'

I cocked my head, some of the anger bleeding away a little bit. 'And why is your love for me any better, or any stronger than mine for you?'

I was resisting the urge to keep track, but damn it... I scored one there.

'I...' he began, and lost some of his intensity, some of that self-righteous confidence that he was right and I was wrong. I could see him turning it around and his eyes showed me when he saw how it looked from the other side. He tried to defuse it with that sense of humor of his, the way he always does. 'Are you saying we're arguing about who loves who best?' but it fell a little flat, and his broken smile told me he knew it.

I reached across the table and took one of his hands in mine, squeezing tight. 'No,' I told him. 'We're arguing about your right to manipulate me into doing what you want.'

He had the good grace to flinch, his fingers tightening on mine as though afraid I might pull away. 'Gods, Duo... I don't know what to say. I just seem to keep apologizing to you lately.'

I sighed and picked my fork up again. 'Just get your head out of your ass... you're not my mother,'

He was quiet a moment, before giving me that tilted head look, the one where he peers up at me through the fall of his bangs. 'It's a good thing I'm not, I suppose, because that would just make this relationship truly weird.'

It took me a heartbeat, but the asshole won the laugh he was looking for.

'Jerk,' I muttered.

'I love you,' he muttered back.

'That's painfully obvious,' I told him.

He quirked a grin and stroked a thumb over the back of my hand. 'Am I so awful?' he asked wistfully.

'A beast,' I informed him.

'But I'm your beast,' he said, and smiled.

'Just eat your damn dinner,' I snorted and we fell quiet, finishing our meal one handed because neither of us was quite willing to let go of the other.

When we were done and I started to rise to see to the mess, he tugged gently on my hand. 'Wait a moment?' he asked almost shyly.

I sank back into my seat and waited to see what he was about. He took our plates away, setting them on the counter before turning his attention to the fruit bowl. He picked up something and returned to the table with it cupped in his hands like it was a precious thing. Sitting down and offering it to me, with a hopeful expression in his eyes that made me feel like I'd been kicking puppies all afternoon.

I lifted the gift from his palms and held it up. It was one of those little oranges like Quatre had all that time ago.

'Where did you find it?' I couldn't help but ask. 'I haven't seen one since staying with Quatre at his sister's house.'

He looked pleased with himself. 'It's called a Clemintine, and they're apparently only in season for a short time. I just got lucky.'

It's so damn hard to stay mad at him. He's so bloody... attentive. He would give me the world if he could manage it, the sun, the moon and the stars thrown in just for the hell of it. It worried me a little bit, the fact that he would actually have money now. The Gods only knew what he would be buying me next. I gently placed the orange back in his hand. 'Peel it for me?' I asked, a little surprised at the sound of my own voice.

He seemed taken aback, but took the fruit and began removing the skin, baring the almost papery looking orange underneath. The scent filled the air the moment he pierced the peel, tangy and sharp. Oranges are so damn... cheerful. Such a bright, sunny color, the tang of their flavor making you feel that something of that sunlight was captured inside. While he worked, I rose and went around to his side of the table. He looked up in surprise, but when I made my wishes plain, he scooted his chair back and made room for me. I straddled his lap and smiled down at him. 'Feed it to me,' I whispered, and couldn't help a tiny grin at the almost wide-eyed look I got.

He didn't speak, put pulled the fruit in half, setting one half aside before pulling the sections apart. He was almost hesitant in raising the first one to my lips. I leaned down and took it delicately from his fingers. I watched him swallow convulsively and he was quick to pull off the next piece. He wasn't so quick to relinquish it though, making me nibble his fingers to retrieve it.

'Is it... good?' he asked, seeming to have trouble catching his breath.

'It's sweet,' I told him with a soft smile, and taking the next slice he offered me, bent my lips down to his to share the flavor. He sought it hungrily, moaning softly.

When we drew apart, I took the next slice and fed it to him. He took it, sucking on my fingers greedily. 'Duo...' he groaned, his voice taking on a hint of need.

'I'm not done with my orange,' I chided and was quickly rewarded with another piece. I did my best to bring him over the edge just from suckling his fingers.

'Fuck the damn orange!' he suddenly growled, and surged to his feet, not letting me go. I yelped, and caught at his shoulders, my legs wrapping the rest of the way around his hips in an effort not to end up on the damn floor.

I'm not that much smaller than he is, but he made it as far as the couch before we went over in a tangle of limbs, lips searching eagerly, hands pulling impatiently at stubborn clothing.

Almost, I lost myself in the moment. Almost, I missed what was happening. Almost... but not quite. My senses came back when I suddenly found myself stretched out atop him, grinding our hips together.

There was some need deep down in my soul that wasn't being met, and when I slowed and looked, when I drew away from the passion and made myself truly see Heero, I could tell it was the same for him. He was still holding back from me, still afraid of hurting me.

I leaned in to kiss him gently, able to taste the tang of the orange on his tongue. 'I won't let your fears steal this from us,' I whispered, echoing his words to me all those months ago, when I had lost my sight and faltered in this.

'Duo love,' he said, voice laced with his doubts. 'Please don't...'

'Stop it,' I commanded, though not roughly. 'You know what I need... you always know what I need. Don't deny me.'

'Please...' he whispered, voice almost lost.

'I need you,' I urged him gently. 'I need the weight of your body against mine... I need to feel you inside me... I need to see you above me. Please don't take that away from me.'

His almost desperate groan told me I'd won, and I rose from the couch, taking his hands and tugging him to his feet. He followed me as though he wouldn't know what else to do if I didn't tell him.

We found the oil... we found the bed... and then we found each other.

His weight, pressing me down, was the sanctuary it had always been. I didn't feel afraid, I didn't feel trapped and I could have wept knowing that I hadn't lost this.

His voice was almost a broken sob as he found what he needed in me. I urged him on with course and gentle words, and we were soon rocking together in a sweat soaked mesh of bodies. Our hearts beat as one heart. Breath flowed out of one and into the other. Voices rose and mingled in a song older than time, and we found the unity we'd somehow lost.

'...you're always...'

'...there...'

'...when I...'

'...need you...'

Everything else paled next to that moment. All the irritation of the situation, all the anger and hurt, was swept away by the merging of our bodies and our minds. In that rare and precious moment when we can finish each other's thoughts, when we feel with each other's skin, when we breathe in complete syncopation. When we find 'home' in each other's arms.

What I did for a living suddenly just didn't seem all that important. How I had arrived where I was, just didn't matter. The woman in the grocery... Scary Lady Une... Heero and Wufei's little deception, none of it seemed worth a second thought, as long as at the end of the day, Heero was the place I came home to.

End of Long Road Home